I don’t want to force him, but my boyfriend doesn’t want to marry me

Question:

I'm right now in a situation in which my boyfriend doesn't want to marry me. From the beginning of our relationship, I didn't want to force him but I wanted this relationship to end up in a marriage. From a religious point of view and I'm from an area where marriage is important before living with a man.

He has personal issues. His ex-girlfriend left him and he loves her so much.

We haven't done did anything wrong such as sex. He is also from a Christian family. I wanted him to move on with me but he is afraid of marriage. He fears that I might change like her ex-girlfriend. He forced me to not waste his time and moved on, but I love him. I can't. He sometimes hurts me so much. I kept on praying that God might change his heart. I don't want to force him to marry me.

Answer:

God made you, me, and everyone in the world with free will. We have the right to make our choices -- good or bad. Asking God to force someone to go against their own decision is something God is not going to do. After all, God wants everyone saved (II Peter 3:9) but God is not going to force people to make the right choice.

Your boyfriend was hurt by his previous girlfriend. While he believes she changed, what I suspect is that she basically remained the same. He only became aware of her flaws after he fell in love with her. As a result, he is having a hard time accepting that she is not the person he imagined her to be. He hasn't let go of her, which is why he refuses to consider marrying you.

You also have a hard time accepting people for who they are. He has been clear that he doesn't want to marry you. While you believe it to be a bad choice, it is his choice. You can't force someone into marriage. Even if you could, it would not be a happy marriage. Two people have to willingly decide to marry and enter the marriage covenant voluntarily.

While you believe that you would make a good wife for this man, he isn't prepared to be a good husband. Perhaps he might change his mind, but you can't wait for that to happen. It is time to move on and continue your search for a good husband. If he changes his mind before you find another man, then perhaps you can consider him again. But for right now, you must consider that avenue closed.

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