How do we deal with homosexual family members?
Question:
My husband's sister is homosexual and is living with a partner. My son's wife is best friends with a homosexual woman who is married to another woman. As a Christian who believes that everything Christ taught and everything the Bible says is true, I know this is wrong. My question is this, I love both of these ladies but knowing they are choosing a lifestyle that is not biblical, am I wrong when I have them over to my house for dinner or celebrations? In my heart, I feel it would not portray the heart of Christ if I excluded them. Both of these ladies know where I stand on their lifestyle. I'm worried that by including them it appears that I'm OK with their lifestyle, but if I don't include them it doesn't portray the love of Christ. The fact that my husband and I disagree with them has caused some strife here and there but we can still get together.
I would love to know what your opinion is on this. Am I correct in how I'm handling this?
Thank you.
Answer:
"I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler--not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? But those who are outside, God judges. Remove the wicked man from among yourselves" (I Corinthians 5:9-13).
The key point is whether either of these people claims to be Christians while living a sinful life. Paul's statement is that we cannot treat a brother who is in sin as if that sin doesn't exist. A difficult decision is what to do with people who claim to be Christians but are not even following the biblical teachings regarding becoming a Christian. I personally consider them not to be Christians since a claim alone is not enough to make a person a Christian.
Family members, who are not a part of the church, would be treated just like any other worldly person. I know some homosexuals in my community, I know lots of atheists, and I doubt I can number how many fornicators I know. To each I only have limited social ties -- we just don't have that much in common because the differences in our beliefs will always be a barrier between us. I'm polite, but when opportunities arise I speak about my beliefs and my Lord. Some people tolerate that while others do not.
In your case, there is no reason to invite your daughter-in-law's best friend to dinner. You can be polite when you come across her at gatherings, but there is no reason to develop a close tie with someone blatantly living contrary to the teachings of Christ. Similarly, you might have your sister-in-law over if she is not a Christian, but I personally would not extend the invitation to the partner because that gives the impression that you don't see anything wrong with their relationship. If you meet them at a gathering, you should be polite to them.
Jesus met with people who were still in their sins, but you don't find Jesus condoning sin by words or actions.
Response:
Thank you for your response.
I always want to make sure I am doing what is right in the eyes of Christ (not that I always succeed, I'm sure). It's such a difficult situation. My husband's family is going through so much already. We found out that my father-in-law had been cheating on my mother-in-law most of their married life. This family is certainly under attack by Satan. If I may ask, would you please say a prayer for everyone in this family?
Thank you again and God bless your ministry and the website. It has been so useful.
