How do I return to God after committing fornication?


Good morning,

Thanks for all you do for singles all over the world -- taking questions and giving wisdom-filled answers. God will keep blessing you.

I have a huge problem. I'm a leader in my local assembly, and I've been engaging in the sin of fornication with my wife-to-be and most recently with a member of my unit -- all in the space of seven months. I know it is wrong. I ask for forgiveness, but I find myself going through with it all over again.

I am thinking of reporting myself to the senior pastor of the church. But my main question is how do I get back to God again? I can't seem to bring myself to read my Bible anymore. I can't seem to pray. I'm fast beginning to play religion and not live as a Christian.

I'll be glad if I can get your help on this matter.



"Transgression speaks to the ungodly within his heart; there is no fear of God before his eyes. For it flatters him in his own eyes concerning the discovery of his iniquity and the hatred of it. The words of his mouth are wickedness and deceit; he has ceased to be wise and to do good. He plans wickedness upon his bed; he sets himself on a path that is not good; he does not despise evil" (Psalms 36:1-4).

If I were to guess the root problem, it is that that you really don't see consequences to your sin. Oh, you know they exist (if you get caught), but there is no fear.

For example, you are engaged to a woman and you have been committing fornication with her, but that didn't stop you from having sex with another woman. You seem to not fear having your fiancee dumping you because of your unfaithfulness. You ought to be scared of what your fiancee will say and do when she finds out. But even then, that is only temporal. You are going to have to face the Lord God in Judgment and at the moment you are not going to make it to heaven.

Thus, the first step is to get back on the right track. Regardless of your feelings, you need to do what is right. You first need to tell your fiancee that you've been having sex with another woman. She might leave you or she might forgive you. But she needs to know the truth about you before she makes a final decision to marry you. If she decides to stay with you and if you find that you can't refrain from sex, then you need to get married. "But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (I Corinthians 7:9).

Meanwhile, you need to step down from your duties at the church. You are currently involved in a denomination and if you want to be serious about following the Lord, you need to devote yourself fully to following God with a congregation that takes the Bible seriously. Being a hypocrite is not the way to get yourself to heaven or to lead others there.

The next few months are likely to feel overwhelmingly miserable, but that is where your sins led you and you need to walk out. When you let go of what you want and devote yourself to what God wants, life will come back together better than it was before.

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