How do I let go of the guilt of having committed adultery?
Question:
I was friends with a married man. It was all very innocent until one day. I met his wife and children, and they were all so lovely. He dropped me off at home, and it just happened. I can't believe that I allowed myself to accept a married man in my bed. I am so ashamed. I believe I am forgiven as we both stopped, said "this shouldn't be happening," and started repenting. We are both God-fearing people who allowed a very stupid mistake to happen. I am terrified his wife will find out, not just for my own sake but for his as well. I could see how horrified he was by what we had done. I believe God has forgiven us. I know I will never commit adultery again, but how do I let go of the guilt?
Answer:
Why would you want to not feel guilty about your adultery? It is the guilt that reminds you that you did wrong and serves as an incentive to not repeat the sin. It is when people sin without a sense of remorse or shame that problems arise.
This adultery didn't "just happen." Few sins are accidental. Temptation can blindside a person, but more often in sexual sins, at least one person had been toying with the idea for a while. "For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man" (Mark 7:21-23). To even say that it was just the passion of the moment skips over the simple fact that a married man should not be in a passionate situation with a woman who is not his wife. Neither of you placed barriers on your behavior or the situations you allowed yourselves to get into.
I'm glad you said you were friends. Any relationship with this man has to come to a complete halt. As nice as his family is, you can no longer be involved. There is too great a danger in the events continuing. "Test all things; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil" (I Thessalonians 5:21-22).
