How do I leave my wrongful marriage?
Question:
I have been married for fifteen years and I realize that God says if I remarry, we would both be committing adultery. Since my first husband is still alive, I am willing and want to turn from an adulterous life.
I was wondering, how does someone leave a marriage when everything is in both their names? Do I ask for a divorce that God hates? Do I just leave by gathering my things and just go? Do I sign the house, cars, etc. over to him and then leave? There are loans that are in both our names. How do I handle those debts? Do I leave him with them? Currently, I'm not working and only receive a small retirement check. I have a desire to do what is right. Where do I go with no family that would want me to live with them? I trust God and know He will provide, but do I leave all the responsibilities of the bills on my current husband? I do love him and don't want to leave, but I can't go against God whom I know I have to obey. Can you help me make wise choices in this matter?
I separated myself from my husband and we have our own rooms. He understands my concerns but insists that God has forgiven us. But I think that if we remain in a sexual relationship. we haven't really repented because to repent of adultery means to stop having sex with anyone other than my first husband.
Can you answer any of my questions? Thank you.
Answer:
I am assuming your first marriage did not end because your husband was committing fornication. If so, your current marriage is adulterous because you are still bound by the terms of the covenant that you made with your first husband (Matthew 19:9). A marriage covenant is exclusive, so you can't enter a second covenant.
Yes, God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), but that applies to your original, legitimate marriage. It does not apply to a marriage that should not have taken place. Continued adultery cannot be justified by saying you can't end a wrongful marriage.
I can only tell someone what God's laws state. You got yourself into a sinful state if I understand your situation correctly. The proper answer is to end the wrongful relationship. But the details of how you accomplish that are up to you. Things like how debts and assets are divided are things divorce courts decide.
