How do I deal with my lesbian daughter?
Question:
My daughter is in a lesbian relationship and recently became engaged. She is aware that I believe homosexuality is condemned in the Bible as a sin and also that, regardless of whether or not she chooses to live in sin, I will still love her. The problem is not whether or not she is sinning, but in how I handle it. My husband thinks that we should "make a stand for our beliefs" by not allowing her and her girlfriend into our home. I am not convinced that is the way to handle the situation. My daughter is not a Christian. She claims that she believes in God and that she prays to him, but she says she doesn't know what she believes about the Bible (which, in my opinion, means she does not believe it to be true). She has not been baptized. I think that I have no hope of showing her the love of Christ and possibly getting her to open her eyes to the truth if I exclude her from my life. I know that we are to be much more strict with fellow Christians living in sin than we are with non-believers. I've studied scripture, but can't seem to find the answers on how to handle my relationship with my daughter and her girlfriend.
Answer:
Your daughter is openly sinning. "For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due" (Romans 1:26-27). Paul stated a bit later, "who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them" (Romans 1:32). Therefore, showing support or approval of sin is also wrong.
You can be polite to people without welcoming their sin into your home. You can still love a child without encouraging her sin by supporting her lifestyle or practices. But if you do not take a stand against sin, then what motivation do you give anyone to change? If they have your welcome and support while in sin, what would change if they ever left sin?
It is true that while in this world, we have to deal with people who sin. We all have co-workers involved in fornication, adultery, homosexuality, lying, cheating, stealing, etc. We can work with them without supporting their sins. But also don't forget that God also said, "And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light" (Ephesians 5:11-13).
