Do I stop praying for my husband to come home?
Question:
My husband is not spiritually grounded and never really has been. I am a Christian, and I love him very much. We are separated and I've been praying for my marriage to be restored. My question is should I stop praying? I don't want to seem obnoxious, pushy, or impatient toward the Lord, but I don't know what to do. Many say let go and let God. Does that mean to stop praying that he comes home?
Thank you.
Answer:
The parable of the persistent widow starts out, "Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart" (Luke 18:1-8). God answers the prayers of His people in ways that are best for them. Sometimes what we think is best really isn't. Or we are asking for the wrong thing. More often, though, the best solution takes time and we are impatient.
Continued prayer isn't a sign of impatience; to give up praying shows impatience. I have people lost in drugs that I've been praying about for years and it sadly looks like those prayers will continue for many more years. I do pray that they will come to their senses before it is eternally too late and that if there is something I can do to be granted the wisdom to see what needs to be done.
In regards to your husband's return, remember that God isn't going to take away his free will. So think about what it is that you really want and that God may answer that will be in accordance with His will.
Question:
Thank you for responding, though I am still confused. I thought divorce is a sin. I love my husband very much. We have children. Though he's living with his new girlfriend, we still sleep together. He says he loves me but is no longer in love with me. We talk about almost everything and are best friends. This new girl of his is ten years younger than he and a stripper. I just pray he doesn't get hurt, and that he returns to Christ. Please pray for us.
Answer:
Strange, I don't see any mention of divorce in your question or in my answer. But since you've now brought up the question, let's take a look at what God actually said: "For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one's garment with violence," says the LORD of hosts. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously" (Malachi 2:16). God hates divorce for good reason. It is an action that results from sin and often times causes more sins to come about. However, this doesn't mean that God doesn't allow divorce in some circumstances. "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9). Your husband is committing adultery and clearly has no inclination to repent of his sins. Because of this, you can, if you so choose, end the marriage with a divorce. You can also get married again if you so choose. Neither divorce nor remarriage is required, but it is an option open to you.
However, what puzzles me is why you are encouraging your husband in his adultery. I'm sure you tell him you want him back and that you want him to leave this adulteress, but it doesn't seem that you don't stand behind those words.
