Do I need to tell the other woman that a man we were both unknowingly dating was two-timing?
Question:
I greet you in the wonderful name of Jesus.
I read the article about forgiveness and were to confess after sinning. I have a problem, which I hope you can help me with. I'm a Christian, and there was a time when I was interested in a brother at church, but I kept praying about it. One day a certain sister came to my room and she started telling me that she is interested in the very same man. She told me the things that he is doing to her which gave her the impression that he might be interested in her. I found that what he was doing to her were the same things he was doing to me. I got so angry I confronted the man directly. I told him to stop giving other women the wrong impression, even if he sees the chance ''weakness" in that woman. He wanted to know who was I talking about. I made it clear that I was talking about the sister who came to my room.
I made myself clean. What is killing me is that the sister doesn't know that the man knows. She is very happy even though she doesn't know the brother is untrustworthy. What do I do? Do I go back to tell the sister that I lied when I said the brother doesn't know, or should I pray to God for forgiveness?
Answer:
I wasn't clear what you lied about, but all lying is wrong. "But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death" (Revelation 21:8). It sounds as if the sister whom you know thinks the man is more trustworthy than he actually is because you either withheld information or lead her to believe otherwise by lying.
I don't know what this man was doing to you or the other woman, but it is clear that he was trying to have two women at the same time. I hope that because all of your claim to be Christians that what was going on was not sexual. "But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints" (Ephesians 5:3).
I assume you dumped the man because of his two-timing ways. It would be proper to warn the other woman about what you discovered as well. If you told her a lie about the situation, you need to straighten it out. Whether she believes you or not will be her decision, but you have to do what is right.
Then, when it is cleared up, you need to go to God and apologize to Him for not being a proper servant of His (I John 1:9).
Question:
Yeah, I hear you, but this has got nothing to do with the dumping of the guy because we never dated. I thought he was interested in me because I was interested in him too. I'm just being honest because at the end of the day this is what I'm facing. I love God and prepared to work for Him, but along the way, these kinds of challenges happen to arise and I need to know how to escape.
Answer:
If you weren't seeing each other, then there was no commitment on his part of any sort. Two of you were interested in the same guy and he chose the other woman. That was his choice. He didn't do you or her any wrong.
