Do I have to have my abusive step-father in my life and in my daughter’s life?
Question:
Hello,
I hope you can give me some good advice. I am a father of a young girl. My mom divorced my stepdad when I was a young teenager. He gave all of us a pretty hard life, my mom, my brothers, and sisters who are his kids. I am the only one who is not his. He beat me and my brother pretty bad. With prayer and accepting God in my heart, I have forgiven him.
My question is: Is it wrong to keep him out of my life and my daughter's. I don't hate him, I just don't see a place for him in my life or my daughter's. I don't like it when my siblings tell my daughter that's her grandpa or take her around him. They are just confusing her. I'm just trying to do what's right in God's eyes. I really want to do the right thing and just really need some good Christian advice.
Answer:
Just because someone is a parent, it doesn't make them a good person. Given his past behavior and his apparent lack of repentance, I would strongly recommend keeping your daughter away from him. If you want your daughter to see him, I would suggest that it is only with you being present.
You can't prevent running into him. Since he is your stepbrothers' and sisters' father, he is likely to be at family gatherings. Just make sure you are there as well. Nor can you disclaim his relationship to you. He isn't your biological father, but he is your step-father and the man who raised you for at least part of your life. You can tell your daughter that he is her step-grandfather because her grandmother was married to him at one time. She may even understand if you say that you don't see him often because grandma left him because he was not nice.
Be nice to him. Be polite. But you don't have to make him a part of your life. When he gets old, see that he is taken care of, but again, you don't have to continue to destroy your life because he remains an evil man.
