Can you explain the issue of divorce and remarriage more?

Question:

First of all, I would like to thank you for writing back to me. I do enjoy and appreciate your website. I only wish your Church was closer. I am actually writing to you with a question that has been on my mind.

I was born again in a United Pentecostal church. I was baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus and received the fullness of the baptism of the Holy Ghost at that time also. To make a long story short I married a woman in the church but church leadership changed and carnality crept more into the church. We both gradually fell away. We divorced and I was not living for the Lord at all at that time. I am now re-married to a Spirit-filled woman and am working on getting my life back where it should be with the Lord. I know Scripture teaches he who divorces and remarries except for infidelity, which wasn't my case, commits adultery. I have repented from the bottom of my heart and the Lord has touched and blessed me in ways that I don't deserve. According to Scripture all sins shall be forgiven men, except for blasphemy against the Spirit. The issue of divorce and re-marriage still bothers me sometimes. Is it possible you could clarify the scriptural teachings on this issue and help my understanding more? I apologize for the lengthiness of this e-mail but I couldn't think of another way to present this to you.

I know one thing, I have a deeper appreciation for the atoning work of my Lord than I have ever had. I look very much forward to hearing from you and sincerely pray for the Lord's continued blessing upon your church and ministry.

Answer:

When Jesus finished explaining God's commands regarding divorce and remarriage, the disciples reacted in shock. "His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry"" (Matthew 19:10). They couldn't imagine entering a marriage covenant if there wasn't an easy way out of it. And Jesus acknowledged that the command was difficult. "But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it" (Matthew 19:11-12). It really boils down to how badly a person wants to please God and live righteously before him. Some will reject what is being said, but others love God so much and want heaven so badly, that they will not let anything stand in their way.

Questions like your own always make me sad when I answer them because I know the odds are that you won't like it and will likely blame the messenger for pointing out what you already suspect. You asked for clarity, but I'm fairly sure you know the answer. But the clear answer is not what you would like to hear so are just certain you don't understand. It is much the way the disciples behaved when Jesus told them he was going to die. They couldn't imagine how that could happen so they kept ignoring what Jesus said or asking Jesus to explain it to them again.

Jesus stated, "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9). When a person divorces a spouse for something other than sexual immorality, then when he remarries he is committing adultery. The wording indicates that it is not a one-time event, it is the state in which he is currently residing. Jesus did not say you committed adultery; that is, sinned in the past. Jesus says you commit adultery; that is, are currently in the state of sin. You said you have repented of this sin, but you haven't really because you have made no change. Repentance is turning away from sin and you are still living in adultery.

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