Can I continue with the relationship without the sex?


Good morning minister,

Please, I am in need of your advice. I have been involved in premarital sex with my girlfriend. Although before all the sex stuff started, I didn't build a friendship as part of the relationship. I guess I was carried away with the emotion of getting involved with the girl. Now I am having issues in the relationship. I want to put a stop to the sex part of it. But my issue is: Can I continue with the relationship? I feel the lady and I are not really friends; or could it be that I allowed the sex to dominate the relationship, and I didn't build a friendship with her?

Please kindly reply to me. Thank you.


Let me start by making it clear that ending sex until you get married is not an option. If you wish to be faithful to God, it must stop immediately. "Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4). Not just with this girl, but with anyone who is not your wife.

Whether you continue the relationship is up to you. I will point out that if you just leave her, people will think that you just used her for sex, and now that you are tired of her, you dumped her. However, balancing this is whether she will respect your decision to obey God. If she continues to try to arouse you and get your pants off, then you need to end the relationship. "Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals" " (I Corinthians 15:33). Don't deceive yourself into thinking that you can resist someone who is actively trying to seduce you. "Now therefore, my sons, listen to me, and pay attention to the words of my mouth. Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, do not stray into her paths. For many are the victims she has cast down, and numerous are all her slain. Her house is the way to Sheol, descending to the chambers of death" (Proverbs 7:24-27).

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