Can I continue dating the girl I’ve been sinning with?
Question:
Please people of God I really need your prayers, I am a youth of 26 years. I am a Christian. I am in deep sorrow, and I feel like this is the end for me. I feel like God can never forgive me for what I have been doing. I have been fornicating, masturbating, and doing all these sexual sins even when I know it is wrong. Please, I really want to stop all this, and I know your prayers can help me. All I want is to return to good terms with God. I regret doing all these things, but can God really forgive me for sinning knowingly?
I also need your advice on this one other thing: If God does forgive me, can I continue dating the same person with whom I have been fornicating?
Thank you so much!
Answer:
Allow me to be clear from the start: No one can make you behave. You have to decide that God and His ways are more important in your life than your girlfriend. Any half-hearted approach will always fail.
God has stated that He will forgive any sin that is repented of. Repentance starts with sorrow for what you've done, but it is not the sorrow. "I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, so that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter" (II Corinthians 7:9-11). Repentance refers to the change in both your behavior and your attitude toward sin. If you are committed to change, then you will find success in being a Christian.
There will be two problems that will be particularly difficult to overcome. First, many guys think that the way to stop sexual sins is to stop all ejaculations, but the male body doesn't work that way. If you don't allow yourself periodic relief, you will find your own body driving you to do sinful things. See Is masturbation sinful or not? What is not allowed is pornography (I Thessalonians 4:3-5) and fornication (Hebrews 13:4).
The second problem is that two are involved in fornication. If your girlfriend is not committed to ending the sexual encounters, she will start tempting you and you will give in because she knows just what it takes to get your clothes off. Therefore, you have to decide if you can continue dating this woman and not be led into sin. If the answer is that you are likely to fall again, then you either need to marry her or separate until you are in a position to marry.
Response:
Thank you so much for the wonderful job you are doing. May God continue blessing you!
