Being Corrected and Correcting Others
by Jerry Falk
Throughout the years, I have been corrected about shortcomings in my life, and today, I can confidently say that I am a better person for it! I thank God for the painful moments when His word has cut me to the heart (Hebrews 4:12; Acts 2:37), even when such correction has come through a brother or sister in Christ. Such experiences have helped me to recognize my need to change and grow.
I have also experienced a different kind of pain, which is sometimes more challenging than coming face-to-face with my own inadequacies. It is that agonizing pit-in-the-stomach feeling when you try to correct someone about something. I have learned that it does not matter how loving and tactful you are. Your efforts will inevitably be viewed as judgmental, intrusive, and disrespectful. Experiencing this reaction multiple times, in turn, creates an aversion to correcting others. This may explain, at least in part, why so many churches today are unwilling to withdraw their fellowship from members who live in sin and refuse to repent, as taught in the Scriptures (Matthew 18:15-17; I Corinthians 5:1-13; II Thessalonians 3:6,14,15; Romans 16:17; etc.).
Part of the problem is that society has come to view resistance to correction and refusal to correct others as noble virtues. They are encapsulated in the phrase, "Live and let live." Others might add, "I'm okay, you're okay. It doesn't matter who is right or wrong, just as long as you're sincere." Instead of accepting imperfection and admitting the need to change, most think protecting our self-esteem or cultural values is more important than allowing someone to correct us. We would rather stand our ground against the self-righteous, judgmental individuals who dare point out our flaws. They are the ones who should change, not us!
For Christians who humbly receive correction (Proverbs 3:11,12; Psalm 141:5; II Timothy 3:16) and dare to correct others in love (Ephesians 4:15; Proverbs 27:5,6), consolation may be found in two things:
- "...your toil is not in vain in the Lord" (I Corinthians 15:58), even when your efforts are misinterpreted and do not produce the desired effect.
- Every word that came from Jesus' mouth was said at the right time, at the right place, and with the right attitude. Even so, His words were rejected, and His character maligned. It should be no surprise if this also happens to His imperfect servants when patiently and lovingly correcting others.
Lastly, if we know that others need correction, and we encourage them to remain as they are or simply say nothing at all, do we really love them? I will let King Solomon answer in Proverbs 27:5:
- "Better is open rebuke than hidden love." (English Standard Version, 2007)
- "A truly good friend will openly correct you." (Contemporary English Version, 1995)
- "Better to correct someone openly than to let him think you don't care for him at all." (Good News Bible, 1992)
- "Open criticism is better than unexpressed love." (God's Word, 1995)
- "A true friend tells you when there's spinach in your teeth." (Falk's Paraphrased Version, July 22, 2024 😉)