I have so many questions. I joined a church several years ago. They do “deliverance” and all that prophesying jazz. I was really into it and felt as though everything I was feeling was real. My Apostle even became my “spiritual mother”. Her husband, “my spiritual father” as I moved in with them during a rough time with my home life. They swooped me up and are amazing people. I moved back home, and haven’t been in touch as much due to Covid and stuff. I attended a birthday dinner for one of the pastors and told her how I have a boyfriend and how we plan to move away together to finish college. I am 20. He is 22. She began to tell me:
- that this is not my destiny,
- that my boyfriend who I love is not my husband,
- that she knows that my future husband will be “light skin,”
- that a long term relationship is not for me right now, and
- that God is giving me the decision to say yes or no to him, by moving or not.
I felt very confused. She has never met him. She said she knows we don’t really love each other and a bunch of other things that she knows because God told her. I have been very distant with the church and God because I am always battling my faith and what to believe! I believed I was speaking in tongues and hooting and hollering and having the Spirit of Delilah (seduction) cast out of me at church, but now I don’t know. My boyfriend has a strong faith in God but doesn't believe in all that extra stuff I mentioned above. I told him, and he said, Well, “you’ve got a lot of thinking to do.” I’m not just going to break up with him, I love him. But now my OCD is making me question everything again because of what my Apostle told me and things were going amazing! Like wow! I don’t know what to believe anymore!
Are spiritual parents a real thing? Can you feel an annointing at church? Like Jesus is in the atmosphere? Can you be delivered by an Apostle?
"The brethren immediately sent Paul and Silas away by night to Berea, and when they arrived, they went into the synagogue of the Jews. Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so" (Acts 17:10-11).
Notice that Jews in Berea were complimented accepting the truth taught by Paul after checking the Scriptures to see that Paul was accurate in his teachings. Just because someone claims to represent God, it doesn't mean they are stating the truth. Far too many people lie. Peter warned: "But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will also be false teachers among you, who will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing swift destruction upon themselves. Many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of the truth will be maligned; and in their greed they will exploit you with false words; their judgment from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep" (II Peter 2:1-3). It is what a person says that matters but whether they are doing what God commanded. "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you who practice lawlessness'" (Matthew 7:21-23).
The wife of the couple you stayed with calls herself an apostle. That is awfully pretentious. Take a look at Apostleship. I hope that by the time you look through all the passages cited, you realize that there are no modern-day apostles. Next, we note what the Apostle Paul directed regarding the worship service. "The women are to keep silent in the churches; for they are not permitted to speak, but are to subject themselves, just as the Law also says. If they desire to learn anything, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is improper for a woman to speak in church. Was it from you that the word of God first went forth? Or has it come to you only? If anyone thinks he is a prophet or spiritual, let him recognize that the things which I write to you are the Lord's commandment. But if anyone does not recognize this, he is not recognized" (I Corinthians 14:34-38). Here is a woman who is directly violating a command of the Lord and at the same time claiming to represent the Lord. That doesn't work.
Then you mentioned a woman who calls herself a pastor. "Pastor" is one of several terms for an elder, bishop, or overseer in the church (see Pastors and Preachers). The requirement for this office is that the person must be "the husband of one wife" (I Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:6). Pastors or elders are men. Once again, we find someone violating God's teaching and is claiming to speak for God as a prophetess. As we noted before in Matthew 7:21-23, just because someone claims she is a prophet, it doesn't make it true. In fact, the Apostle Paul stated that prophecy would be ending. "Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away" (I Corinthians 13:8-10). In Greek, the "perfect" refers to a thing and not a person. It is the New Testament that is referred to as "the perfect law of liberty" (James 1:25). Basically, once the New Testament was completed, the need for partial revelations through prophecy was no longer needed. The New Testament was not going to be an on-going revelation. It was delivered once for all people and for all time (Jude 3). Therefore, what this woman told you was her own opinion. It wasn't given at the direction of God.
God gives us laws that we are required to follow, such as sex is only allowed in marriage (Hebrews 13:4). Within those laws, we have some latitude, such as deciding who we are going to marry. God gives us advice on how to make good choices in a partner, such as not marrying a foolish or contentious person (Proverbs 19:13). Whether you heed God is up to you. You'll live with the results of your choices. Therefore, if you are going to live with the man who is currently your boyfriend, you need to first get married. But whether your boyfriend is a good choice as a husband is something you have to decide.
"For God is not a God of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints" (I Corinthians 14:33).