Am I wrong for moving on while waiting for the divorce to happen?


Good evening,

Several years ago, my wife left me for another man. She now has a child with this man and has been living with him since then. I waited over a year, trying to reconcile with her, but my attempts failed.

I have moved on and have every intention of marrying the woman I’m with. The court system has failed us. We have been in the process of this divorce for over a year now. I have full custody of my children. I and my fiancée are both practicing Christians. I have received much grief and have been told that I too have committed adultery and cannot remarry and be right with God.

My marriage was over the second she left. She had been sleeping around for some time but her adulterous ways opened the door for me to be right in divorcing her. Our divorce has been filed since shortly after she left but has not been signed by the judge.

I have a hard time finding scripture to guide me but I feel in my heart I’m doing the right thing. My marriage didn’t fail because I didn’t try, it didn’t fail because I wanted someone else, it failed because she left for someone other than me.


You left a critical point vague, which makes answering your question difficult.

Yes, you had the right to end your marriage because your wife is committing adultery and has no intention of stopping. However, you can't marry someone else until the divorce is final. If you are living with and having sex with another woman, then you are committing adultery since you are still legally married to your first wife. Intentions don't change the facts. If all you have done is found and dated a woman, then I don't believe you have done anything wrong though I would have suggested waiting until the divorce was final if you had asked me in advance.

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