Am I distracting my girlfriend from being a Christian?
Question:
I have a relationship with my girlfriend. We have been dating for more than a year, and we both are 20. We were not like the kind of teens that have God in our past, not even when we started dating. But, well, she comes from some other relationships that didn't work at all, and in my case, well, she is my first girlfriend. But I noticed she was looking for God -- seeking God -- and also I realized that she comes from a Christian family which I'm really glad! I always had God with me but never like this; I mean my relationship with God has grown like never before. I really love my girlfriend, and I really think that God put her in my life, and I think for the reason to marry her -- she also thinks that.
Recently she was losing her desire in her heart about God, and she hasn't felt for a while the Holy Spirit. Maybe because she was focusing on me? We live hours from each other, but I told her that while she is studying something, I will get ready for a job so I could be with her. Just her and I.
I already told her that I want to marry her, but we talk that God has to be with us, leading us, and with us putting God first. I told her that I could really get out of her life for a while until she gets that desire back in her heart so that I wouldn't be a distraction to her. I decided to literally step back for the good of us because I do believe that without God our relationship would never work out! Because I have seen many cases of couples who claim they love each other and they end up cheating on the other person because they don't have that fear of God.
So my question is: Would God lead us to be together? Can we really wait for a long time? If it's true love that wouldn't be an issue, would it? And we even have God with us. Can you show me some verses to help in this case of mine? We both want to get married by the way. Thank you. I hope you can help me. God bless you!
Answer:
Many people confuse feelings for devotion. Feelings come and go. Devotion is a determination to remain. So, when I hear someone talking about feeling the Holy Spirit, I wonder if their religion is just temporary emotion or the real thing. See: Who is Closer to God?
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17). I would expect that a relationship between two Christians involves them encouraging each other through both the heights and the low times. How is it that you are distracting her from being a Christian? How is less interaction with you, as a Christian, going to encourage her? "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds" (Hebrews 10:23-24).
The time to pull back is when one of you is pulling the other away from Christ. If you are being a bad influence on her, then you need to examine your faith. "Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you -- unless indeed you fail the test?" (II Corinthians 13:5). So my question to you is are you two doing things that Christians ought not to be doing?
Your goal that God must be first in your lives is right on target, but I believe you aren't going about it the right way.
