A Question about Dowries
Question:
I have a question bothering me and this issue is about tearing apart one of our congregations here in Nigeria. Please, is parental consent considered to be marriage; that is, the cohabitation of a man and a woman without the payment of a bride price or dowry? Since examples in the Bible state Christ attended a wedding feast in Galilea, Abraham sent gifts when he was looking for a wife for Isaac, and even God could have given Eve to Adam but He took Adam's rib before giving Adam the woman. I think all these points toward a price being paid before a marriage is said to have taken place.
Please this is an urgent reply as soon as you can and save the church of God.
Answer:
I'm sorry this issue is causing trouble among brethren. We must be gentle, longsuffering, and forbearing with each other (Ephesians 4:1-3). We also must not trouble the church with our opinions. A brother who does so is "divisive," and must be rejected if he will not cease (Titus 3:9-11).
Marriage is a covenant relationship (Malachi 2:14). Since God ordained this relationship (Genesis 2:18-24; Matthew 19:3-6), He sets the requirements for the covenant. When a man and woman enter a marriage that God approves, He is both the witness of the covenant (Malachi 2:14) and the One who joins the two as one (Matthew 19:6). To enter this relationship with divine approval, a man and a woman must meet the divine requirements to enter the covenant (Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:2) and fulfill the legal requirements of the government where they live (Romans 13:1-5) They should also honor the customs of their people, as long as these customs are scriptural and legal (Romans 12:17).
It is my understanding that the government of Nigeria has declared the requirement of a dowry for marriage illegal. Correct me if I am wrong. As you know, the custom of requiring a dowry has caused couples to delay their marriages for years and has been a stumbling block leading many young adults to commit fornication. The Lord warns us very strictly about causing others to fall into sin (Matthew 18:6-7). I would plead with Nigerian parents not to be stumbling blocks to their daughters and future sons-in-law (and, if I am correct, not to violate Nigerian civil law) by requiring a dowry for the marriage of their daughters.
If I have erred in any of the facts, please correct me.
by Keith Sharp
