Where did the concept of one man and one woman come from?
Question:
Where was this concept of one man and one woman first introduced, and why did early people marry many women and have many concubines? Were there no marriage laws among early mankind? Did God ignore or permit early people to marry and have relations with as many women as they wished?
Answer:
The concept of one man marrying comes from the very beginning. "And He answered and said, 'Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh"? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate'" (Matthew 19:4-6). Take note of the terms:
- "male and female"
- "a man ... be joined to his wife"
- "the two"
The first violation of this command is attributed to Lamech. "Lamech took to himself two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other, Zillah" (Genesis 4:19). The fact that it was done doesn't imply that God approved of it.
While God tolerated multiple wives under the Old Law and prior to it, He did regulate excessive abuse of His tolerance. For instance, in the case of a slave marrying her master (a concubine), the master was not allowed to treat her as a lesser wife. "If he takes to himself another woman, he may not reduce her food, her clothing, or her conjugal rights. If he will not do these three things for her, then she shall go out for nothing, without payment of money" (Exodus 21:10-11).
The Law of Moses specifically forbade kings from having multiple wives (Deuteronomy 17:17)—a command that several of Israel's kings violated.
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