Still Trying to Prove a Point

by Becky René

Some people carry an invisible burden. Long after the moment has passed, they continue to live in the shadow of a past insult, injury, or trauma. It might have been a harsh remark, a personal failure, abuse, rejection, a physical condition, or a tragic accident. Perhaps someone made them feel incapable or unwanted. And from that moment onward, a silent vow was made: “I will prove you wrong.”

This wound — though buried — becomes the fuel for everything. Every success, every defiance, every refusal to accept help is driven by a desire to prove something. To be seen. To be respected. To be in control. The person may become strong, capable, self-reliant — but also cold, defensive, suspicious of kindness, and resistant to humility. Help feels like pity. Encouragement feels like condescension.

And here is the tragedy: even after becoming a Christian, some never lay that burden down.

They enter the kingdom with the same quiet vow burning in their heart: “I will prove I am worth something. I will show that I am not weak. I will make sure no one ever says that to me again.”

And yet, the goal of the Christian life is not to prove a point — it is to be conformed to the image of God’s Son.

“For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son…” (Romans 8:29).

Christ did not live to silence His critics or to prove Himself to those who mocked Him. He lived to do the Father’s will, to glorify God, and to serve others in humility and love. He laid aside His rights, His status, His reputation.

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who… made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant…” (Philippians 2:5–7).

When a believer is still living to vindicate themselves, they are not walking in the spirit of Christ. They are walking in the shadow of their old pain. They may still be angry. Still driven. Still trying to silence a voice from the past. And so, instead of growing more like Jesus, they grow into a version of themselves shaped by bitterness, pride, or unresolved shame.

The danger is not that the wound remains, but that it defines them.

The gospel calls us not to prove our worth, but to admit our need. It does not ask us to compete, but to surrender. Christ does not call us to win arguments from the past — He calls us to follow Him.

“If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23).

To those still carrying that burden, the invitation is simple:

Let it go.

Bring it to Christ.

Stop trying to prove a point — and start letting Him shape you into something far better than the world ever expected.

Because Christ does not care who doubted you. He cares who you are becoming.

And He already knows exactly what you are worth — because He gave His life for you.