Romanticizing Love
by Terry Wane Benton
Different things come to mind when we think of "love." We often think of love as a feeling of infatuation, where we are walking with our heads in the clouds with a romantic feeling toward someone. But, while that may be pleasant, it is not the kind of love God commands of us (Matthew 5:43-48). God commands us to love even our enemies, but he is not telling us that we must feel romantically infatuated with our enemies. The love God commands is that we have "goodwill" toward our enemies. We want them to seek and find God so that good things can be theirs. In this sense, love will want to return good for evil because love is a commitment to the good of all people.
Love does not demand that we approve of their attitude or actions. It is a determination to do all we can to see that good is our desire for ourselves and that we are committed to showing goodwill to each human being, beings made in the image of God. We look deeper than their attitude and their words of scorn. We see a soul with the potential to turn around and come to its senses. We see prodigals, God's people, and souls that He longs to have on His team and in His family if goodness can be shown to them. So, God is not telling us to be infatuated and feel all gushy toward people who have no use for us but to have goodwill that hopes they can one day see the light and make that needed turnaround.
God wants souls to turn back to Him. Therefore, He gives rain, sunshine, and all good things to the just and the unjust. He disapproves of the attitudes and actions of the unjust, but He did good for them on the cross because of love and goodwill, and He wants good possibilities to give people a chance for a turnaround with good results. That is what we can do. We can look past the ignorance and still be determined to see the potential. Therefore, we will greet people and do good because we have goodwill and love and are committed to doing good for all.
There is a time for that love to rebuke and chasten (Hebrews 12:5ff). But again, that is because we want to awaken that soul to the good result of their being saved. God rebukes and chastens those He loves. He does this because He loves and wants a good result. So, we must not get caught up in the modern idea that rebuke is hateful. Love has to be goodwill, wanting good results, being aware of the dangers, and seeking to awaken the endangered soul. Thus, again, the love God commands of us is not romantic infatuation but goodwill with enough commitment to good that you tell the truth, even if it has to take the form of rebuke, chastening, or firm reprimand.
This is what I see in Jesus' words in Matthew 23. Some people say that was hate speech to the scribes and Pharisees. I would say it was a heart of deep love trying to desperately awaken them out of the misguided danger they were in. Jesus did not sin. He wanted them to be saved, but they were deeply mesmerized by their own spiritual blindness. That is when love pulls out the heavier rebukes. Jesus was like the mother hen wanting to bring them under His wings of love and protection, "but you were not willing." There are some people that Jesus, in all His goodness, could not change. That did not make Jesus stop loving them. That is "agape" (love). It is not a mushy feeling of infatuation but a goodness of will to take them under His wings if they are willing.
