Why don’t I feel faith?
Question:
Hello,
I have a question that I really have not been able to find answers to, and I do not dare to talk to anyone about it.
Several years ago, I started going to a church because I was really convinced that God was sending me to do it. I had a lot of anxiety in my life, and I started reading the Bible that year due to the anxiety I had. Little by little I began to convince myself about grace, to convince myself that I was a sinner, I even considered myself the worst, and I also believed that Christ was the most important thing and that only in him was salvation.
But this did not last more than two years. I was never sure of being saved. I always had an unhappy life thinking that I was not. One day, I asked God to make a big change in my life because I saw many things that were not right, like feelings of envy.
Since that day, everything has changed. I feel like everything has gone downhill in my life. I didn't even feel the conviction of sin. It's strange, but I didn't feel God, either. I didn't feel the same for Jesus, and I stopped trusting in him; I wouldn't dare say that I stopped believing.
This made me very anxious. I feel like I try to believe. I try to do it, but I don't "feel that faith." Every day I try, I try to have faith. I try to close my eyes and simply believe, believe in Jesus as my Savior and Lord, believe in what he did on the cross, but I don't know what happens. Little by little I start to have doubts, or days later the truth drives me crazy, I want to believe but I feel like it's hard for me to do it, sometimes I think that I was never saved, because I know that faith cannot be lost because the scripture says "But he who perseveres to the end will be saved" (Matthew 24:13) thinking that I could really stop believing.
I feel like I will never get out of this. I feel like I pray. I read the Bible. I have even fasted (not believing that this will bring me salvation) so that the Lord would allow me to have faith in His Son for salvation, and I feel like I have done everything, but God keeps me in this state. I don't want to blame God, but I don't know how to express myself anymore.
Also, if they ask me who Christ is for me, I wouldn't know how to answer, and before, I would have.
Please help me.
Thank you.
Answer:
All I see is a young woman who is making up her own religion and then is disappointed that she doesn't meet her own expectations.
You say you have read your Bible, so where did you find faith being described as a feeling? "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1). In other words, faith is the confidence you have in the things you look forward to and your certainty in things you have not seen. I have faith that Sydney, Australia, exists. I've never been there, so I have no first-hand experience with Sydney, yet I have complete confidence that it exists. Why? Because the evidence is strong. It isn't a feeling that comes and goes. I don't doubt that Sydney exists one day and sort of feel it is there another day.
"So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God" (Romans 10:17). You read the evidence presented in the Bible and then decide if you believe the evidence is solid.
When you give control to your feelings, you make yourself your own God. However, the Bible points out that your feelings are an unreliable guide. "He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but whoever walks wisely will be delivered" (Proverbs 28:26).
Salvation is not earned. God offers salvation to those who accept His requirements. See What Must I Do to be Saved?
