When Men Disagree
Adapted by Raymond Warfel
From "When We Disagree" by Mike Willis
Guardian of Truth, XL:9, p. 2, 2 May 1996
Brethren do disagree from time to time despite their desire to be united in the Spirit. We are not likely to remove all areas of disagreement any more than we can remove all the sins from our lives, even though we want to live godly lives. So, how should we behave when we disagree with others?
All Disagreement Is Not Bad
Some disagreement is healthy. Christians do not mindlessly follow just anything someone might say. Disagreement means that healthy traits exist, like independent thinking, personal Bible study, and wanting only to submit to Christ's authority and no other. Brethren must be willing to challenge what is said because no one is infallible.
"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17).
Which of us is never wrong on a passage of Scripture? We should be thankful that someone is examining what is taught compared to the Scriptures. It is a safeguard for others and our own souls. Our salvation depends on abiding in the doctrine of Christ.
"Anyone who goes too far and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God; the one who abides in the teaching, he has both the Father and the Son" (II John 9).
"Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; perservere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you" (I Timothy 4:16).
Disagreements can sometimes be unpleasant but are healthier than mindless submission to human authorities. We need to change our thinking about disagreements among brethren. They are a sign of health and life. Just don't let them degenerate into a work of the flesh.
How to Treat One Another When We Disagree
Willing to Discuss Our Differences
"'Come now, and let us reason together,' says the LORD, 'though your sins are as scarlet, they will be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they will be like wool'" (Isaiah 1:18).
"Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so" (Acts 17:11).
When we are unwilling to discuss our differences, division is inevitable. Christians must remain open to discussing their differences with each other. Controversy allows truth to shine. An error will not grow when we examine things openly.
There is little point in talking with closed-minded people. It is like jumping out of an airplane with a parachute and then never opening it. It doesn't do anyone any good.
Listen Carefully
Listen carefully so you can accurately restate your brother or sister's beliefs. State their position in words that they can endorse. We don't want to misrepresent our brethren, which will lead to the wrong arguments and conclusions.
Believe the Best of Your Brother or Sister
Believe the brother or sister is being honest until there is compelling evidence to believe otherwise.
Love "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (I Corinthians 13:7).
"This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God" (James 1:19-20).
Let us not be quick to believe the worst or attribute evil motives to our brethren. As long as possible, we should treat brethren with whom we disagree with honor and respect because Jesus also died for them.
Avoid Inflammatory Language
Calling them a liar simply because they see the point of disagreement differently will not solve the disagreement. Be hesitant to brand them a "false teacher." There may come a time to label what one believes as "false doctrine," but be cautious in making rash charges.
Treat Them with Dignity
Let the Lord's words be your guide:
"In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets" (Matthew 7:12).
Let this govern how we treat our brother or sister with whom we disagree.
Let us be ready to study and listen to what is said and weigh it in light of the Scriptures. Let us keep the lines of communication open so we can search together for unity based on God's Word.
