What would you do if your child came out as trans?


I am a transgender woman and I listen to one of your sermons and have explored your site quite a bit, and I am just disturbed.

I will be honest I am not a Christian, I am an atheist. I grew up a Southern Baptist, I used to hold Bible studies every morning in the cafeteria during high school. The funny thing is that I have wanted to believe in a God, but I look at the church today and see so much hate that even if God was real, I would choose not to believe in Him solely because of the church.

I have heard the argument so many times that I want to end my life.

  • "God only created two genders."
  • "Why are you going against God's will?"

As much as I would love to argue with your church about the issue of transgenderism, I am genuinely curious about what you would do if your son/daughter came out as trans?

Let's assume that you know that you are never going to convince them otherwise. They still love God and still believe in the teachings of the Bible, but they think God made them trans.

Would you reject them?
Would you call them by their preferred name?
Would you use their pronouns?
Would drive them to their doctor's appointments?
Would you still love them?
Would you still treat them as humans?
Would you defend them from being bullied for being trans?

As you can probably tell I have experience in this. My brother doesn't talk to me, my parents are not supportive, and my grandparents pretend I am dead.

Thanks for your time.


As a Christian, I worship the one and only God. His teachings are truth. "Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth" (John 17:17). Truth is singular. There isn't a truth for you that is different from the truth for me.

I realize that you are writing in hopes of causing a quarrel. Remember that you asked. But in asking a question, it doesn't mean the answer you get will be to your liking.

This brings me to my first point, what a person claims does not create truth. People all too often lie. "May it never be! Rather, let God be found true, though every man be found a liar, as it is written, "That You may be justified in Your words, and prevail when You are judged" (Romans 3:4). Your feelings about a matter don't create truth. Feelings change constantly and rapidly. "He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But he who walks wisely will be delivered" (Proverbs 28:26). The number of people claiming something is true doesn't create truth. People too often follow the crowd instead of thinking for themselves. "Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it" (Matthew 7:13-14). Nor does it matter what your relatives think. "Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's enemies will be the members of his household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me" (Matthew 10:34-37).

God has always been against lying. Lies are against His very nature. "But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death" (Revelation 21:8).

From what I gather, you are a man but wish to claim you are a woman. Science shows there are two genders: males with XY chromosomes and females with XX chromosomes. The Bible also states this obvious fact: "male and female He created them" (Genesis 1:27). You even acknowledge this. Since you are dissatisfied with your maleness, you selected the only other alternative. Thus, despite your words to the contrary, you demonstrate that people come in two genders -- you just want to be seen as the gender that you are not. You know you can't really become the opposite gender, so you cover this with a pretense that there are additional genders. However, this is just one lie to patch over problems created by the first lie. You started out saying "I will be honest," but then you proceeded to express things that are not true. I find that disappointingly sad.

God doesn't allow me to support sins, including lies. "If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house, and do not give him a greeting; for the one who gives him a greeting participates in his evil deeds" (II John 10-11). Friendship doesn't alter this. A family relationship doesn't alter this.

You label ideas contrary to your own as "hate," but no hatred is involved. What I just expressed are reasoned thoughts based on truth. Love requires that I wish others no harm, either now or in the future. Because I love people, I tell them the truth. It might hurt their feelings, but that is better than them suffering from the consequences of their self-deception (assuming they listen to the truth).

The concept of Christianity is not about accepting people living in their sins, but to tell people that they can change. Sins can be left behind and the person can be whole once again. "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God" (II Corinthians 5:17-20). Whether you decide to change is your choice. No one can make that decision for you. I can only encourage you to be honest with yourself and others.


I am so sorry, I should not have sent that email. I was not in the right state of mind. I was angry and lashing out and that was unfair to you.

As much as I disagree with your belief, I am still an American and believe in your right to freedom of religion.

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