What do I do about a girlfriend who is being pressured to drop me because of “prophecies?”
Question:
Hi,
I came across your site while googling about prophets and marriage. I have been a Christian for over 25 years in a Congregational church. I met a beautiful woman on a social network. I wasn't looking to hook up or anything bad. I was actually just looking for friends. She had her profile on private, so I kindly asked her to add me. Under her profile, she proudly stated she was a Christian. I was fascinated and wanted to know her and became friends.
After several months we decided to become more than friends -- not sexually. After a few more months, I went to visit her family. They all have been Christians for several years. Her mother did not take kindly to me and ignored me. After I left, her mother told her that I wouldn't text her, which I didn't because I was actually waiting for her to text me asking if I got home alright.
Well since that day our relationship went sour. She broke up with me saying a "prophet" told her that God didn't want me with her and has someone else for her, so because she's scared of disobeying God she barely sees me. I gave her scriptures showing her that God gave us free will on who to marry with guidelines. We've gotten back together, but our relationship is on the rocks because she refuses to see me with people she knows. She doesn't want arguments because her family doesn't want her with me. We argue a lot about this. She says she's been visited or seen other people claiming to "prophesied" the same thing. Also, her friend was told that her dream to break up with her fiance whom she loves was confirmed. Although she's Pentecostal and we have our differences about churches, I can't believe she'd believe these people over our love. Last time I knew God put love in our hearts, not have someone break that up. If this were so true how come nothing is happening to me? If it's God's will wouldn't He interfere to make sure it would happen His way? Like, take the love for each other away? I love her with all my heart. I'm stuck in a hard place right now.
Answer:
You've run into a reason why I tell people that they are better off dating someone who has the same religion that they have. "Christian" is used very loosely these days and really doesn't tell you much about a person.
What you've learned about this woman is that she is easily pressured by the opinions of other people -- a character trait that isn't going to go away easily. Pentecostals tend to make judgments based on their emotions over their reason. The decision of what must be comes first and then justification is sought.
You have to decide if this matters to you. Do you want a woman who might suddenly decide to leave you because someone tells her that they imagined God wants her to leave?
I would strongly suggest that you have a heart-to-heart talk about Pentecostalism. If she isn't convinced for herself that her belief system is wrong, you are better off going separate ways because this ugly issue is going to come up repeatedly.
