What did the prodigal son’s father do?
Question:
I am curious about the parable of the "prodigal son", probably one of the best-known of all parables. Nothing is said about what the father does or does not do after his son leaves and goes to a far country. He seems very comfortable with giving his son his inheritance. As many instances as we have today and have always had of children "drifting away", one would think that this would be the perfect parable to teach parents what they can do when their children drift away from the church. I am not questioning God and His inspired word but just curious as to what the father did rather than just wait on his son to return. I am certain he prayed and agonized over his son's departure but we do not see that.
Answer:
It is often pointed out that you don't extend a parable beyond its intended purpose. Thus, you can't use the parable about the lost coin to discuss the need to keep your home well-swept. The parable of the prodigal son is about the Pharisee's disdain for those they labeled sinners. See The Point of the Prodigal Son and The Elder Brother of the Prodigal Son.
In the parable the father clearly represents God. As such, he acts as God does. God doesn't pray to Himself for the restoration of His children. God has given us free-wills to make our own choices -- including bad ones. God advises against bad decisions, but if we are determined to leave, God doesn't stop us or force us to change our minds. Instead, God allows us to suffer the consequences of our choices to discipline us (Hebrews 12:5-14). The father in this story doesn't rescue his son. He allows him to squander his living and destroy his life. It was not until the son chose to humble himself and return that the father joyfully welcomed him back (Isaiah 66:2). While the prodigal son was gone, he was as good as dead to the father. When he returned, it was as if he had been resurrected.
But all of that was the setup for the point of the parable -- the elder brother's refusal to receive his lost brother back with joy. Unlike the younger brother, the father scolds the older brother. Why? Because the older brother was off-track but he hadn't left the father. We don't see the father offering to make things up with the older brother. He doesn't offer him a party. The point being pressed is that the older brother needed to change his attitude.
While this parable is not about how to be a good father, we can note a few things:
- Different children need different treatment.
- You can't save a person from himself. He has to change.
- Sometimes the best solution when a child is determined to live a life of sin is to let the child go and consider him as basically dead, which is probably the hardest thing a parent can do.
Question:
When you say, "Consider them dead" what exactly are you saying? If considered dead does that mean giving up on trying to restore?
Answer:
I'm referring to what the father in the parable said: "For this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found" (Luke 15:24).
You don't give up hope that a child will change, but the child has to change. He cannot be coerced into changing. You can set the terms for accepting him back, but you can't brow-beat a person into changing. Oh, he might tell you what you want to hear simply to get rid of you, but he will not have changed his mind.
Throughout the Bible, God warns people about sin. He warns them about the danger they are in. He gives people multiple opportunities to change. However, He never forces people. They have to make up their own mind.
An erring child is lost to the godly father. He can warn him of the danger. He can leave the door open for the child to return. What is a mistake is to support the child in his sins or to give the impression that it doesn't matter if he continues to sin.
As I said, it is the hardest part of parenting. Perhaps it gives a glimpse of the anguish we cause God with our sins.
Question:
Answer:
I agree that you don't purposely drive someone away, but there are people who will not accept the truth and will become upset hearing the truth. The Pharisees are a case in point.
I strive to tell people what is true in a clear way. I might upset some, but it is important to tell them what they need to hear.
