What can I do to get my life right?
Question:
Hello sir,
I came across some articles on your website. I have personal concerns, and I need biblical guidance.
I am a Christian lady. I'm 27 years old, and I am very confused and frustrated. I was recently in a courtship relationship, but my fiance and I had sex a couple of times, even though we knew it was wrong. We felt very guilty and reported ourselves to our pastors, who advised us to break the relationship for now while we individually worked on getting restored to God.
My personal concern is that I was raised in a Christian home with a strict upbringing. My Dad was strict, but I also saw him mistreat my mom, and he sometimes neglected us financially when he didn't have money, and we were left to fend for ourselves.
I have always been in relationships with people I knew were not suitable for me, but for the temporary feeling of being loved, I will go on. Several times I had sex as a desperate means of keeping them, but they still left.
I live with my younger siblings, and I feel so burdened by looking after them. My Dad claims he is trying his best but can't send enough money. My fiance was like my happy place, but after all this happened, I was so alone because we broke up due to the collective advice of our pastors.
I want to get restored to God, but I feel like I can't help myself, and I miss my fiance so badly.
I'm in fix now, family pressure plus feel depressed about the wrong I did with my fiance and I feel everything is tearing about in my life.
I feel so alone and frustrated.
Please, what can I do to get things right in my life?
Answer:
It seems you place yourself and your feelings above the commands of the Lord. So, while you think of yourself as a Christian, you don't always follow Him. ("Christian" means a follower of Christ.) This has resulted in conflicts and confusion as the ways of the world don't align with the Way of Christ (John 14:6). Therefore, simplify life by sticking with what Christ tells His followers to do.
Having sex outside of marriage will prevent you from reaching heaven (I Corinthians 6:9-10). It is a simple fact. There are no exceptions. Therefore, fornication is never an option.
I gather from your note that you seek a way to escape your home life. However, the approach you are using with sexual sin only gives you a temporary, artificial escape. That is why the men never stayed -- they weren't committed to a true relationship. They were only interested in the sex.
The idea that you can't help yourself is false. "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it" (I Corinthians 10:13). God doesn't allow you to face temptations that you can't say "no" to. If sex is that important to you, then you should be getting married (I Corinthians 7:9).
I don't know if you have done all that God requires of you to be a Christian, so see How to Become a Christian. Every Christian gains forgiveness for his past sins when he is baptized (Acts 2:38; 22:16). Sins committed after becoming a Christian can also be forgiven when a person repents the sin and asks God for forgiveness (I John 1:8-2:1). Repentance means making a change in how you behave and how you think about sinful acts (II Corinthians 7:10-11).
Response:
Thank you, Sir,
I appreciate the truth shared.
