The Commitment of Love

by Terry Wane Benton

Love is not a feeling that may come or go. You don’t fall in and out of it. That is more of infatuation and Eros than the valuable love (agape) that is what keeps couples working to forgive and affirm each other through thick and thin. This kind of love is deeper and principled. It values the heart and soul no matter if the externals in appearance change. Externals do change, but love sees with the heart into the heart. Couples with this kind of love grow deeper in time.

Love seeks the good of the relationship not because there are no differences or annoyances but because the annoyances are not greater in importance than the person you are committed to. When love sees value despite real or imagined grievances, love seeks reconciliation, forgiveness, new starts, covering over the sins, and seeking to grow because of potential. You don’t love “if” they measure up, but because their value is not lost to you despite not measuring up. Couples with this kind of love grow deeper over the years because commitment is not lost in moments of disagreement, anger, foolish attitudes, and actions.

The valued commitment keeps the couple reflecting on self-improvement, apology, and reconciliation. They are not just “lucky” to have a good marriage but stay committed to working at it, working through things together, tempering and purifying their quality of love. Staying accountable to God is a common principle that makes it hard to give up too easily.

So, to all you young married couples, keep nurturing accountability to God and the valuable principle of agape love. Never give up on each other too easily; your love will grow deeper and hold you together for years. It will be tested but grow deeper and more genuine as the years go by. Are you committed? Or is it too shallow?

What is the love that made Jesus endure the pain for you? Was it mere infatuation or committed love? Learn that kind of love, and you will have something exceptional!