Should I tell my daughters about the abuse I suffered in the church they attend?

Question:

I was in a church for 12 years. I left because I was abused there. My two daughters are still there. I am afraid for them. I do not want them trained in this way. Should I tell them the truth?

Answer:

In some ways, it is hard for me to answer because the charge of "abuse" is vague. I've known people who claimed abuse because they were scolded -- and correctly so -- for their behavior. Others have actually been abused and leave you wondering why they put up with it for so long.

I'm puzzled because if the abuse was real, why did you leave family members unaware of the problem? As difficult as it might seem, give them the facts of what happened. Keep the account factual and without emotion. Then they can make their own examination and decide whether to go or stay. On your part, you will have to accept their decision. You might not like it if they stay, but at least you gave them information which might aid them in the future.

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