Should I marry my child’s father?
Question:
Hello.
I am in my early twenties, I have a young child, and I am not married. I have asked God for forgiveness, and I am moving on. I am a God chaser now. I stay before the Lord. I am active in my church. I have changed my life. I am not fornicating any longer. God is still molding and shaping me to be what He wants me to be.
My child's father and I are still together, but I have been battling whether to break up with him or not. I am more focused on getting closer to God, and I sometimes make him feel like I am not paying attention to him because I am reading the Bible. He still wants me to sleep with him and touch on me. I don't want that, but he says he will change. We have been over this plenty of times. I want to marry him, and he wants to marry me.
I don't know if I am hearing God or me saying let him go. We have been together for over five years. He tells me that he is trying. I just don't want to fall back into fornication, but I am getting stronger. I don't want to just leave him. He says that I am helping him want to get closer to God because he sees my life has changed. He is now looking to get his own place and when we get our relationship back right, we possibly could get married. I told him we have to have limits.
What do I need to do -- break up with him or just be patient because he is trying? I want more of God. I would give it up if I have to to get closer to Him. Please help me. I know God is going to handle it. I just wanted your suggestion. We both come from Christian families. My father is a preacher. I went astray, but I surrender now because I was tired of that life. I don't know whether to hug or kiss him or not because I just want to please God.
Please help me. Please?
Answer:
Please understand that I don't know the man you are with. All I have to go on are your own words. If you both love each other and want to marry each other, then why are you doing everything backward? What benefit is there to his moving out if you hope for him to turn around, marry you, and move back in? If this man is a keeper, and you seem to think he is, then go down to the courthouse this afternoon and get married. It really is as simple as that. Then neither of you will be tempting each other with unmarried sex because you will be married. Your child will have a permanent father as God intended and you'll have a husband.
"Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).
Question:
He is moving out of his parent's house not from where I live. I stay with my parents.
I left something out. He also throws parties to make money. Should I be worried about this? They are parties for adults where they drink and party.
Answer:
Drinking and partying is not proper Christian behavior. "For we have spent enough of our past lifetime in doing the will of the Gentiles -- when we walked in lewdness, lusts, drunkenness, revelries, drinking parties, and abominable idolatries" (I Peter 4:3). Someone involved in these would not make a good husband for a woman trying to live a Christian life.
