Question:

Hi,

I'm a Christian and in my late twenties. There is this young woman at my workplace whom I am really interested in. I don't know her too well, but I do know that she is very sweet and that she claims to be a Christian.

The problem is that I think that she might have been married in the past. Before asking her out, I wanted to know more about her, so I decided to look her up on social media. On some of her family's pictures, there appears to be a couple of wedding pictures of her.

Currently, she does not appear to be married, and she does not have a ring on her finger. In the few times I've hung out with her and other co-workers, she has mentioned that she lives in an apartment with room-mates and she has never brought up having a husband. She still has her maiden name.

I know this sounds creepy and stalker-ish, but I have social media to my disposal and wanted to know more about her before asking her out. I did not want to waste my time asking out a non-Christian.

With that being said. How should I proceed? My concern is that she might have had an illegitimate divorce (see Matthew 19:9). I really do not know what happened there, and I don't want to pursue an adulterous relationship. If she divorced her husband because he committed fornication, then that technically frees her up for re-marriage, but if it was simply them parting ways, then she and I would be committing adultery if we dated.

I feel like she is interested in me, but I don't know how to proceed or if should I in the first place.

Thanks.

Answer:

The reason people date is to find out if a person they are interested in would make a suitable spouse. It is while you are on a date that you find out about the interests and history of the other person. Sex should not be taking place when you are not married, so it would not be adultery to ask someone you think is a single woman out on a date.

So ask if she would be interested in going out to dinner with you or join you in some activity. Then talk a bit about yourself and find out what you can about her.

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