Should I continue talking to a co-worker who only wants to talk about sex?
Question:
People say I’m crazy when I say to them that married men should not think about the opposite sex other than their wives. As a single person, I can think of a person who is single like me, not in an unclean way of course, but a person who has husband and wife should be content of his marriage partner.
Anyway, I don’t like to fight my enemies. It’s they who choose to be my enemy because I refuse to chat about sex with them. Once I went to my boss about a co-worker because he had been mistreating me, saying that I should like sex and things like this. This is why I try not to be close to this person because most men talk about sex, and I made the mistake of siding against him in saying he should quit his sex talk, although I am single. To attract attention but with the intention of attracting single men not married men, I used to dress fashionably at work, which meant clothing like mini skirts. Nowadays I don’t do that, but even so, my married co-worker argues with me because I won’t speak about what he wants to speak about -- sex. So I reported him. Is it better to avoid a person who talks about sex? I am not avenging anything by doing that, I’m just avoiding from another argument or talk about sex.
Most men these days are like that here. I repeat, I am not anyone's enemy. I will help him if he has some problem about work, like I did last week, but I cannot talk with him all the time because I’m afraid if I befriend him too much he will start talking about sex.
Answer:
You are correct that our Lord said, "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). What your co-worker is desiring is sinful. It is obvious that he desires to break his marriage vows and he wants to drag you into his sin. Paul tells Christians, "And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light" (Ephesians 5:11-13).
To tell a person that what they are doing or advocating is a sin is a part of being a Christian. It is a part of sharing the Gospel with others. In the Bible, it is called "reproving" or "rebuking" (Proverbs 24:5). However, we must recognize that some people have no interest in improving their lives. Solomon warns, "He who corrects a scoffer gets shame for himself, and he who rebukes a wicked man only harms himself" (Proverbs 9:7). Thus, you have taken the right stand. You told the obnoxious man that his conversation is wrong. He refuses to accept that so you have limited all dealings with him to only what is necessary and polite. That is proper.
As a Christian woman, you should not be trying to snag the attention of single men by using the ways of the world. All you will hook with such "bait" are worldly men. Paul advised women "In like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works" (I Timothy 2:9-10). You want people to notice your godly behavior, not the shape of your body. You want a man who is looking for a companion, not a sex toy. So use the proper bait to find a good man.
