Should I ask God to give my daughter all my blessings?
Question:
Good morning.
I'm struggling with the thought of how to pray for a blessing. My daughter is in university, and she has for many years had a struggle with confidence. She is really smart but doesn't believe in herself. In some of the classes, she is barely passing, though she has a B, which is great, but the other classes are important.
Yesterday, I was praying for her. We also prayed together earlier in the day. I thought about praying that the Lord give her all the blessings He had stored up for me to her. Then I begin to get angry. I started to feel guilty because I truly wanted to keep what the Lord had for me. Is that being a selfish parent? I felt, wait a minute, I don't think that's fair. I then thought if I don't, then my daughter won't have a double blessing, so she can get through her journey. Even though I won't like it, I would pray this prayer of giving it all way to her.
Am I thinking incorrectly? For my daughter, I'll do anything.
Thanks for your help.
Answer:
Good to hear from you!
If you and your daughter are Christians, then God has given us all we need concerning blessings. "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ" (Ephesians 1:3). These blessings are that we become children of God and that God has lavished on us in His grace so that we can receive the forgiveness of sins through the blessing of Christ's blood. We are told that God has blessed all mankind by giving His Son and to turn us from our wicked ways. "It is you who are the sons of the prophets and of the covenant which God made with your fathers, saying to Abraham, 'and in your seed all the families of the earth shall be blessed.' For you first, God raised up His Servant and sent Him to bless you by turning every one of you from your wicked ways" (Acts 3:25-26).
God even gives blessings to those who are evil. "And yet He did not leave Himself without witness, in that He did good and gave you rains from heaven and fruitful seasons, satisfying your hearts with food and gladness" (Acts 14:17). God still gives rains and fruitful seasons to those who are in sin.
Christians are told to bless those who are evil to them. "But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. ... Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. ... But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful" (Luke 6:27-28, 31, 35-36) If you are supposed to bless those who persecute you, why would you not want to bless your own daughter?
I think the confusion comes from your idea of blessing. You indicate that in some way you personally have the power to transfer the good things God has given to you to your daughter. Carefully read the verses I cited and see the meaning. "Blessing" means to bestow favor upon, to wish good for the person (no ill will), or to do good to them. We are to do the same for our enemies by showing favor, kindness, and doing good to them. But we should especially bless our own children! If you have raised your daughter with a good work ethic, study hard, and put God first, you have blessed her already. You can ask God to help her get through the hard times because He indeed hears our prayers (Hebrews 4:16). But your daughter won't magically get the book of knowledge she needs if she doesn't study hard. There are college kids out there who play video games all day and then pray to God to give them some supernatural knowledge for their tests. They can't fathom why they haven't passed their class because of their own pure laziness. You must also consider people are more apt at certain subjects than others, and we all are made different. Certain subjects come easier than others, which means she will most likely not get all A's in every single class. If you truly want to bless your daughter, keep praying that she follows God but also ask if she needs help studying or needs a tutor to bring up her grades. If she needs a paid tutor then bless her (do something good, show a favor) by paying for the tutor. We should never be selfish to withhold a blessing within our own power to help out someone for good and to show the same kindness and grace God has shown us. "Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith" (Galatians 6:10).
