Send Those Grudges Away
by L. A Stauffer
via Biblical Insights, Vol. 15 No. 1, January 2015
One of the New Testament words for “forgiveness” (aphiemi) literally means “to send away” and means to “dismiss” or “leave behind.” It is used in its literal sense by Jesus when he “sent the multitude away” (NKJV) after a long day of teaching parables by the sea (see Mark 4:36). And this is precisely what Christians need to do when they are offended by their husbands, their wives, their children, brothers or sisters in Christ, or their bosses—whoever! We must dismiss hurts, bitterness, anger, and revenge from our hearts by forgiving those who sin against us (see Matthew 18:15-21; Ephesians 4:31-32). Grudges are a detriment to us and those we resent or despise.
The classic example of the havoc an unforgiving spirit can inflict is Herodias, the adulterous wife of Herod Antipas. She had left her husband, Philip, to marry Antipas, Philip’s brother. This was a clear and specific violation of the Mosaic law that said: “Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy brother’s wife” (Leviticus 18:16). John the Baptist, a stalwart and dedicated prophet of God, learned of this sinful relationship and said plainly, as he was accustomed to do, “It is not lawful for thee to have her” (Matthew 14:4; see Mark 6:14-19).
Herodias was offended by what John said and demanded that Herod imprison him. The more she thought about John’s insulting remarks, the more “she set herself against him” (Mark 6:19). “Set herself against him” comes from a phrase that means “to hold in herself” and reveals the ill will and bitterness she harbored toward God’s straightforward wilderness preacher. She could not “dismiss” or “send away” her feelings about John, and in time, she wanted him dead.
As with so many who hold onto bitterness, there comes, as in Herodias’ case, “a convenient day"— an expression that means a “good time” or “opportune moment.” That “Herodias moment” came for the king’s wife when her daughter danced at Herod’s birthday party before him and all the important leaders of his province. Herod, in a drunken stupor or passionate lust, promised the young girl any reward—up to half of his kingdom. After consulting with her embittered mother, Herodias, the compliant daughter returned to King Herod. She asked on behalf of her corrupt mother for “the head of John the Baptist” on a platter. The king, an admirer of John the Baptist for his “just” and “holy” ways, granted the request with great sorrow for the sake of his oath witnessed by so many of his leaders.
Extreme case? Far out example? Surely! Seldom do our grudges lead to such serious consequences— physically. Unwillingness to forgive, however, often reaps retaliatory results that benefit neither us nor our enemies. It robs us of the peace, the joy, the rest, the contentment that God our Father produces by His Spirit in the honest and good hearts of His sons and daughters (Galatians 5:22-23). Brethren, there is no reason for us to be sullen, miserable, hateful, unhappy wretches. We must learn to send away, dismiss, leave behind all “bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and railing...and be...kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ Jesus forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).
Becoming “miserable wretches,” brethren, is not the most serious consequence of refusing to forgive. Failure to forgive and resolve our grudges destroys peace of mind; it eats away our spirituality, interferes with our personal relationship with God, and stymies our prayer life. How can we pray, “and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12)? And, added to all this, is our eternal ruin. When we refuse to forgive one another, God refuses to forgive us. And what sentence does that leave us before God’s eternal throne? “Depart from me!" (see Matthew 7:23; 25:41).
Read Matthew 6:14-15 carefully: “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Wow! That’s serious, brethren!
We must not let evil men, whether enemies in the world or hateful brethren in Christ, define who we are. Without our consent, no man can fill our hearts with bitter grudges by his manifestation of ill will. We have to agree to return evil for evil. We make a choice when we refuse to reprove our enemies and respond with kindness and love in a meek and quiet spirit. Humble and forgiving brethren in Christ are what we must choose to be. And we will not do otherwise and hold on to grudges without our agreement and consent.
