My wife just told me she filed for divorce. What can I do?
Question:
Hi,
My wife left for summer break with my two kids. Three weeks later I noticed that she was acting weird with me, so I had a long conversation with her. I found out she file for divorce and that she is not coming back. We have been married for three years but have been living together for nine years. Her reason to divorce is that she has never loved me that she has no passion for me -- that all these years she had been faking to love me. I know her family doesn't want her to be with me because she changed when she became a believer and because we move to another state. One thing she told me, and it was before she file for divorce, is that she can't have both, that she had to choose her family or me. I don't know what to believe anymore. I don't want to divorce but I have to accept her decision. Besides, she erase from Facebook, told me not to call her, that she doesn't have time for me -- she completely changed.
I don't know what to do. What do you recommend to me?
Answer:
Well, I'm positive that her claim that she never loved you is false. I believe she is rewriting history to fit her current mood. But that doesn't change the situation.
There isn't much you can do to talk her out of her inappropriate decision. Therefore, you need to make preparations. Get a good lawyer because you want to have joint custody of the children and visitation rights. If you find out that she's seeing another guy (likely), then after the divorce is completed you can marry again. But if it is as she claims being done solely because of family pressure, then you don't have a right to another marriage. "Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace" (I Corinthians 7:10-15). All you can do is let her know you'll be waiting for her if she decides to return.
