My wife is planning to leave me after the house sells and I don’t know what to do

Question:

Hello,

I understand the vows which I made to my wife. I honor those, but she emotionally detached herself from me eight months ago and does not respond to me in a loving manner at all. I do not withhold my love for her, yet I hurt all the time and have cried out to the Holy Spirit for help to change her heart. My wife is Hindu and I am Catholic. We have two wonderful children together. My wife stated to me that she will divorce me when our house sells and maybe we can get back together in the future. This does not fly with me. I feel I am slipping through the cracks and am losing everything in the process I have worked so hard for. I am trying hard to not take the victim stance. This is so complex with worldly desires and my Christian values. I value the marriage and do not believe in throwing away my spouse, but she threw me away. I do not know what to do. I know I have to take care of me, but it is dragging me down and I want relief.

Please help!

Answer:

There isn't enough information for me to help you sort out what is happening. You stated what happened, but there are no answers to the natural question of "Why?" Why did your wife become distant eight months ago? Why does she want to leave you when your house sells? Leaving incurs expenses and obligations. People typically avoid things that cause heartache, grief, expenses, and the like unless they perceive a benefit that is greater than the inconvenience.

If you do attempt to answer the question of "Why?" it will have to be as your wife would answer, not as you would like it to be.

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