Question:

I had multiple affairs with an ex-boyfriend over several years. My husband found out about the first one. I lied to him but continued to commit adultery.

I came to the Lord in repentance and I was baptized for the remission of my sins. I confessed my adultery to my husband but in heat of our conversation, I was so afraid of seeing him that upset, and in my fear, I didn’t confess many details. I confessed my adultery and apologized for all the lies. I did not tell him how many times I committed adultery and I did not give him a specific timeline. I confessed to what he knew and the most recent affair. He only asked me a few questions, said he forgave me, and he has since not wanted to talk about it. Even after my attempts to go to counseling, or me trying to come clean and tell him everything, he tells me he doesn’t want to talk about it.

I might have done more but I couldn’t remember. Bits and pieces I remember from that night before I blacked out drunk. I am so ashamed of my actions.  I am so thankful to the Lord that I didn’t die in that horrible sinful state I was in. I have confessed all of my sins that I can remember to God. I have hit my knees so many times asking Him to forgive me. I have since changed my life and I hate my sins.

I am haunted by these memories and plagued with guilt. I am so afraid that my not disclosing all of the details to him because I was hiding so much information in my fear at the time I confessed to him that God won’t forgive me. Please help me. I am tormented by my memories and guilt even years later.

Answer:

Give me the passage that says your forgiveness is dependent on telling another person every sin that you've done. Your husband is correct. He doesn't need to know all the sordid details. He forgave you, so he has done as God requested (Matthew 6:14-15). However, you are making up rules for yourself that don't exist in the Bible and then making yourself miserable because you can't keep your own rules.

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