My husband cheated a lot and I finally divorced him. What will be my punishment?
Question:
Hi,
I'm having a serious married problem: my husband cheats a lot. We have children together. He would sleep out as if he doing a good thing and does seem to care about how I feel. I took him to family court for counseling. He was upset because he thinks he's a grown man and should be able to live a life that suits him without anyone saying anything about it.
He got another woman pregnant and obviously, he promised to leave and go live with her but didn't. After the child was born, they started having lots of fights about him coming to live with her and the baby. She also has children who are not his. The police got involved, so to save him from the embarrassment, I told him that if he wants, I would take the baby. He agreed, so he went and brought her home to me.
He went back and got another woman pregnant. It is still going on until there are now six children. One of the women says he lied about being married and had an abortion. He still expects me to forgive him and move on. He would bring women into the house and into my bed while I'm at work or if I am traveling. My children are there and see all these women coming in. On one occasion he moved out to live with another woman for six months, but it didn't work out.
He's also very disrespectful and abusive at times. He just keeps going on and thinks he is blessed. At times the women would curse me, though not all of them.
I went and got a divorce without his consent. He still wants me to forgive and forget, but I don't know if I can -- it's too much.
Please tell me what to do. People who know what's going on keep telling me to run away from him. But what should I do? I know it's not God's will for a wife to divorce her husband. I don't know the punishment for doing this. Please help me.
Answer:
"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9).
Your husband committed adultery and had no desire to repent. At that point, you could have divorced him. That you held on for so long did not improve the situation. Since your divorce is due to his sexual sins, you are allowed to marry again; though in God's law he is not allowed a second marriage (not that he would care).
Forgiveness is preceded by repentance. "Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him" (Luke 17:3). He has no remorse and gives no indication of changing his behavior. He doesn't think what he did was wrong, so there is no repentance; and thus, no forgiveness can be offered.
God is against divorce (Malachi 2:16) because of all the harm it creates. But this doesn't mean divorce is not allowed when a spouse sins against the marriage covenant. It was your ex-husband who went against God's law, not you.
