My girlfriend promises that we won’t have sex, but every time she comes over we do it again
Question:
Please I need some advice. I am a Christian. I have a girlfriend who is not a Christian and I have committed fornication with her. Whenever I commit the act with her I feel guilty. I am not at peace and I ask God to forgive me. The worst part of it is that she does not feel bad about it. Even if I try to stop her from coming to my house, she will say that she cannot live without me. She will promise that when she comes we are not going to do anything, like touching and all that. But by the time she comes I am not able to resist her. I fall into the act again. My Christianity is going the wrong way. My Christianity is at stake. I wanted to put her away slowly, but it was not happening. I don't want to connect with her again because if I do it will be difficult for me.
Please help me. What can I do to really stop her so that I can serve God and have peace? Please help.
Answer:
While you are sorry for your sins, that sorrow has not led you to make any dramatic changes in your life.
"For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter" (II Corinthians 7:10-11).
You are dealing with a girl who sees getting your pants off of you as a sport. "For they do not sleep unless they have done evil; and their sleep is taken away unless they make someone fall" (Proverbs 4:16). She tells you that she can't live without you because that appeals to your ego. It makes you feel important. She promises not to lure you into sex because that is what you want to hear, even though you know it is not what she intends. "This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth, and says, "I have done no wickedness" " (Proverbs 30:20). She is successful because once she gets you sexually aroused, you can't think of anything but having sex with her.
The problem is that you are waiting too late to resist her. You invite her over, knowing what is going to happen, and she takes that as an invitation to have sex. Your initial resistance is just a game that adds spice to her seduction. Where you have to put a stop to this is her contact with you. "Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of evil. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn away from it and pass on" (Proverbs 4:14-15). There is no gently, slowly letting go of this type of person because she is actively undermining your resolve. As Jesus stated, "If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life maimed, rather than having two hands, to go to hell, into the fire that shall never be quenched-- where 'Their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched'" (Mark 9:43-44). Jesus is using hyperbole to make a point. Hell is far too dangerous to keep something that is causing you to sin. An alcoholic has to throw out all the bottles of alcohol in his home. You will have to immediately and permanently dump this girl -- block her phone number, don't talk to her, and definitely don't be with her, especially in a private place. Politely tell her that she is no longer your girlfriend and that you want nothing more to do with her because she will not stop luring you into sex. Regardless of what she says, remember that Jesus says a person's actions tell you what kind of person she is, not her words (Matthew 7:16-20). Then stick with cutting her out of your life.
Response:
Thank you very much, sir. This will be a good help to me.
