My fiance’s family will never love me
Question:
Dear sir,
Please, I need your advice. I was dating this young guy, who I thought we would spend much time together for the rest of our lives. Instead, little did I know that he was just playing with me, after some time the communication just started breaking down. It came from nowhere. I was always the one calling and texting, but I couldn't get enough replies. I became tired and I gave up. He had started using very abusive language against me even when I hadn't done anything wrong.
After some time, I decided to talk to his brother about it, who advised me, and we fell in love. I am engaged now, but the problem is his family is against the marriage because of my past with his elder brother. They are talking bad about me. We are planning to marry next year, but they are all quiet and have folded their hands like they don't want to help. Genuinely, he is the first person I knew and spent a lot of time with before meeting his elder brother who lied to me. I am scared his family is big and will never love me.
Please help me. Should I cut all this off or I hang in? I am tired of fighting for his love. Please advise me.
Answer:
I must assume that you were sexually involved with the older brother and now with the younger brother. Such would explain the family's attitude toward you since that violates cultural expectations in your region. If you have been involved in fornication, I hope that you have changed and are following God's teachings.
You can choose who you marry, so long as both you and the man you wish to marry have the right to marry. I will assume that both you and the younger brother have not been married before. There is nothing in God's law that forbids a woman from dating two brothers and deciding to marry one of them.
However, in this case, your choice will mean that you will not have a good relationship with your husband's family. If you and he are willing to live as outcasts from the family, then you must accept those terms. Don't enter this marriage thinking the relationship will change in the future. It might, but you cannot count on it. Thus, you have to decide that if things remain as they currently are, would you be willing to accept it?
