My boyfriend just broke up with me and I don’t know why

Question:

Hello,

My boyfriend of two years recently broke up with me a week before Christmas. When I asked him why, he could not give me an exact answer. I'm still in love with him and he requested that we "take a break" which I don't know what that means. I know that I should give him space so that he can do whatever he needs to do.

My heart is so broken and I feel so torn up inside. I feel mostly sad but sometimes I feel really angry at him.

When we first started dating, he was a member of the church of Christ and I wasn't, but after Bible study and prayer, I was baptized and admitted as a member of the same church. It hurts me to know that I will see him every Sunday and Wednesday.

I just wanted to know what I could do to make this pain go away. I still think that he will take this time to remember all of the wonderful things about our relationship, but I don't know if that will happen or not. I'm fearful that it won't, and I can't really deal with all of these thoughts and emotions.

Please let me know what I can do.

Answer:

While I know you are looking for assurance, the problem is that neither you nor I know why this breakup occurred. Since men and women don't approach communication in the same way, it is possible that he told you what is wrong, but because you didn't think it was a major issue, you dismissed it and looked for some deeper message, which you couldn't find. Without talking to him, I don't know if I can solve this puzzle.

Your relationship with him should not factor into your relationship with God. I know the reminders of the relationship hurts at the moment, but the one you need the most at this time is God. Don't expect the pain to disappear immediately, but it will fade given some time. You aren't the only one facing constant reminders. He too will be seeing you regularly. Since it is he who called this off, it is up to him to decide whether return or not. Whether he is able to really depends on if you are available when he finally makes up his mind.

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