My boyfriend has sickle cell anemia and I’m a carrier. Should we marry?
Question:
I'm 19 this year and my boyfriend is 24. We've been together for almost a year now and are in a long-distance relationship. He has spoken to me about marriage, but we are in a difficult situation. He has sickle cell meaning his genotype is SS and my genotype is AS and because of where we come from, my parents and his parents would never allow us to marry. The thing is, they don't understand what true love is. I love him truly and he loves me truly. The only way he can marry me is if God heals him. How do I pray so that God will hear our prayers and what do I do and what should he do? We are both Christians. I'm a virgin but he is not, I hope it won't affect God's answer even though he has repented of his past.
Answer:
Your boyfriend has sickle cell anemia and you are a carrier for sickle cell anemia. In theory, if you married, the odds are that half your children will be born carriers and the other half will have sickle cell anemia. If you went purely by genotype, then you would be restricted to only marrying people with no trace of the disease in their genes, which might be difficult because carriers are immune to malaria so they tend to live longer.
We have no cures for genetic diseases. At best, we are able to manage the symptoms of the disease. The decision to marry cannot be based on what doesn't exist. The question is whether you want to live together as husband and wife for the rest of your life. That decision is yours and his to make -- not your parents. The second question you two will have to address is whether to have children and take the risk and expense of having a child with sickle cell anemia or adopt children to raise as your own. Again, that is only a question that the two of you can answer.
Question:
But you didn't answer my question regarding God. Can't God heal him? And what do I have to do to get God to answer my prayers?
Answer:
Could God heal him? Obviously the answer is "yes." Will God heal him? That is God's decision. Even Paul, when he asked for healing was told "no." "And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me" (II Corinthians 12:7-9).
The decision you make regarding whether you take this man as your husband has to be made one what is, not what could be. He has sickle cell anemia. That is a fact. Is that something you can live with or not? If you marry him and decide to have children, the fact is that some of them may have sickle cell anemia. Can you live with that fact or not?
If you can only accept a man as a husband who can give you disease-free children, then this man is not for you and you need to quit giving him false hope because you don't love him for who he is but only for what you hope he might become and that is not true love.
