My boyfriend and I have been living together for years. Now that I am a Christian, should I move out?
Question:
Hi,
I've been struggling with this question of cohabiting. My boyfriend and I have been living together for about five years. We have one child together who is four years old and I have a child who's thirteen years old. I recently gave my life to the Lord back near the start of this year and since I've done that I have gotten closer with the Lord. I know it's wrong to have premarital sex; however, I made a covenant with God about me waiting to have sex until I'm married. So my boyfriend and I haven't been intimate or had sexual activity with one another in eight months. We both are okay with that; however, is it still a problem that we live together? He just recently got saved and he wants to marry me; however, I'm not ready. So should he and I separate while we continue to date?
Answer:
Your problem is of your own making. You have been living a pretense of marriage for years and now that the man offers to correct the problem, you claim you are not ready. You were willing to have sex, keep house, and have children with a man, but you aren't certain you want to be committed to him? Does that make sense?
God's law already requires that you don't have sex outside of a marriage covenant. Claiming to make a covenant regarding what you are already required to do is redundant at best. At worse it is saying that you don't respect God's law unless you agree to it.
Living together just means you are putting extra temptation before yourself and your boyfriend. It also tells the community around you that you are having sex because everyone assumes you would do the same as they would do in a similar situation.
It seems to me that the best solution to this situation is for you two to get married. It doesn't require a huge wedding, you just need to go down to the county courthouse and get done what should have been done years ago.
