Must I ask forgiveness from the person I wronged before I can repent?
Question:
Must I ask for forgiveness from one who suffered the consequence of my sin before I can repent? This only seems logical to me. A person should first seek to heal a fellow human who has been hurt by them.
Please email me something brief about this as I am in anguish.
Answer:
"For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter" (II Corinthians 7:10-11).
Repentance is turning your life around. It isn't often that a person can undo the results of his sins. You can't reverse the course of time. But you can demonstrate that you are not the same person you used to be.
If you regret what you did and the harm you caused, I would think it polite to let the victim of your sin know that you have had a change in heart. Whether that person will accept your apology or not is out of your control.
Along with that, if there is some way to soften the damage that you did, it would be a proper thing to do on that person's behalf. It would be a part of showing you are a new person. Again, the person might not accept your offer of help, but the offer would demonstrate that you've changed.
Sadly many times a person who repents isn't able to let the person know about their change or be able to offer to undo some of their damage. People move on or pass away and the opportunity is lost.
Getting a person's forgiveness isn't a requirement for repentance. Most of what repentance ought to be is such a drastic change in your life that no one who knows you now would think that you would have done such bad things in the past.
Response:
Thank you very much for your answer. It was very helpful to me.
