Question:

I read a response from somebody where they were married for over 50 years, but the marriage was not valid.  I am wondering if my current marriage is valid or not.  Here is my situation:

Before I met my wife, I made a promise to God that I would never break up with anybody, no matter what.  I had a girlfriend before meeting my wife, and I broke up with her.  Would God, in that situation, expect me to go back to my girlfriend because I promised I would never break up with anybody and I broke my promise.

In that case, I never asked her to marry me.  The relationship did not last long enough for marriage to be considered.

Answer:

Your promise was a violation of what Solomon warned. "Guard your steps as you go to the house of God and draw near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools; for they do not know they are doing evil. Do not be hasty in word or impulsive in thought to bring up a matter in the presence of God. For God is in heaven and you are on the earth; therefore let your words be few" (Ecclesiastes 5:1-2). You made a promise that sounded nice to you but was neither necessary nor practical. God never asked you or anyone to make a commitment to never break up with another person. The promise is ill-thought-out because it assumes you have full control over your relationships. It doesn't acknowledge that the person you date has free-will.

Thus, apologize to God for making a foolish promise and move on with your life. You were not in a covenant with the girl you dated. The relationship did not work out as you thought it would at the start, but that is why we date -- to find out whether it might be possible to marry the other person. I expect people to make poor choices at first until they learn how to pick a good partner.

To break your covenant because you made a rash promise is to add one sin on top of another.

Question:

Thanks for letting me know. I’m glad, in my case, I was not forced to get a divorce. The time, I made the promise, I knew I could not promise what the other person would do. I only promised I would never decide to break up with somebody, and I broke that part. In every other case, the woman would always break up with me. So I was guessing, I would never get to the point where I would break up with somebody but I was wrong.

Answer:

Since each person has free-will, it stands that when you chose people to date that there would be some you would find out are not suitable for marrying because when you start dating a person, you barely know them. It is equally likely that you will find another person unsuitable as it is that another person will decide that you are unsuitable. Promising not to use good judgment in selecting someone to marry is not a wise choice. The promise you made was not well thought out and should never have been given in the first place.

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