Is it a sin to not attend on Sunday night?
Question:
I was raised in and am a member of the church of Christ. God blessed me with faithful parents who didn't just "take me to church," but lived it. I am 66 years old and have struggled with an issue for most of my adult life. It is the question of Sunday night services.
My dad wasn't raised in the church, and he had a pretty sad childhood and wild adult life, so when he became a Christian, he was both very grateful and serious in his spiritual life. One thing he believed was that where the Bible said women are to be keepers at home, they must be at home to do that well (and I agree that is best). But in keeping my mom at home, he had to work a full-time and part-time job to pay the bills (mom was very frugal with money). It would have violated his conscience for my mom to work outside the home.
Dad never took a job where he had to work on Sunday mornings, but he did miss Sunday nights. He said that Sunday night was a good thing started by elders for people who couldn't make it on Sunday morning, and that it took off during WWII. He was the finest Christian man I ever knew. We had Bible studies in our home, and he had Bible studies on his lunch hour at work. He (and my mom) truly lived the Christian life.
I provide this background so you understand that I'm not looking for an excuse to miss Sunday night service. I have gone back and forth with the question of whether, if you are faithful to God and have fulfilled God's command to worship on Sunday, you are sinning if you do not go on Sunday night as well. While I agree that Sunday night worship is an added benefit, since men started it, if it is a sin to miss this service, why not just discontinue it and save souls who only come on Sunday morning? You see, it's as if I keep going in circles with this subject. And perhaps I just can't be certain.
I'll tell you why this is so important to me. My husband and I milked cows for over 30 years. Neither of our parents milked, but it was my husband's dream to milk. So, we bought the farm, a few cows, used equipment, etc., and barely made ends meet, but we were happy. I'm not sure if you're familiar with milking, but for the health of the herd, it's essential to milk at the same time every day. My husband became a Christian before we married (my first husband died) and was not raised in the church. He started from scratch, and seeing him struggle with biblical concepts made me realize even more how blessed I was to have had the head start of biblical knowledge given to me by my parents.
On Saturdays, we did what we could to help Sunday worship go better. Sunday mornings were a challenge. It didn't seem to matter how early we got up to milk the cows and feed baby calves; something would always happen to put us in a rush, and it didn't help that we only had one bathroom. My husband always made it to Sunday morning worship, and most of the time, to class as well. I was proud of what he went through to get there. One particular Sunday, the kids were ready, and we were in a dead run to get there on time. We made it and had class and then worship. We love the preacher and his family very much. He preached on church attendance that morning, and most of it was good until he said, "Anyone who misses Sunday night services, let not that person think they are going to heaven." My husband squeezed my hand so tight I knew he was trying hard not to get up and walk out. We finished worship, and he said, "Get the kids and let's get out of here."
As soon as we walked in the door, he turned and said, "Why did I rush through milking and all the work and showering and shaving and go to worship my God today when I'm going to hell anyway? I might as well stay home and relax because I'm sure not going to heaven. He was so upset, hurt, and mad, experiencing a multitude of emotions. My husband is a good Christian man. He has always invited others to worship, attended VBS, visited the sick, and gone to funerals, giving money we didn't have to help those in need, and many other things that he never did before he became a Christian. Please don't think I'm saying going to heaven is a point system where you check off boxes and add up what you've done; I'm saying he's not just a go to church, go home and live however you want kind of "Christian." My son, daughter, and I sat down with him and read the verse about forsaking the assembly. He said, "Dad, you haven't forsaken anything...we looked up the word in our Greek Lexicon and it said forsake means to turn your back on completely." We studied for several weeks on this to see if he was sinning, and I still don't "think" so, but I'm not certain. I've never been one who changes how I feel about something God forbids because a family member is doing it. For instance, people will adamantly say you shouldn't let your child go to the prom until they're of the age to go, and then it's okay. I wanted to discuss it with our preacher, but my husband forbade me from mentioning it. I teach class, so he told me to go to our church, but he visited other places because he couldn't worship there for a while. He's back at our church, but it's like something in him has died, and I don't know how to help him.
've read what you have on your site, but I still need to explore this topic further. Is there anything else I'm missing? Or can I not know for sure and must leave it up to my husband to work out his own salvation with fear and trembling?
I want you to know that your articles on various subjects have helped me greatly in the past when teaching ladies' class, and when I taught the teenage girl class, as well as when I teach the 3rd and 4th grade class (they can ask some pretty deep questions at times). I know this is a long email, and I apologize for that. I wanted to let you know that I would truly like to resolve this matter in my own heart, if possible.
Thank you so much for what you do. To Christ be the glory.
Answer:
"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near" (Hebrews 10:23-25).
It seems to me that you are looking at this problem from the wrong perspective. When churches began holding services twice on Sunday, it was an attempt to make them more accessible to their members. Here at La Vista, we have two services because we have members who work swing shifts. They can usually make Sunday morning services or Sunday evening services, but not both. We could not come up with an optimal time for everyone, so we hold two services. The evening service is an extension of the morning service. Those of us who can attend both services do so because we want to spend time with our brethren and worship God. However, I have lived in upstate New York, where several of the members were dairy farmers. They also had members who had to drive 75 miles one way to attend worship. In discussing the problem, the members decided to have one service in the late morning, which ran a bit longer: an hour for Bible study, a half-hour focused on the Lord's Supper, and an hour for worship and a sermon. That schedule worked well because it didn't interfere with milking, even with the time changes in the spring and fall.
The choice of meeting times is at the discretion of the local congregation. The decision should allow as many, if not all, who can attend. If people are struggling to attend, then the congregation should sit down and determine a better way to schedule services. In this, your husband was incorrect to not mention his problem to his brothers in Christ.
Please note that, despite our best efforts, some individuals may still be unable to attend every service. Illness happens. Some are tied to the military and have little say about when they can leave the base. Brethren should be understanding of those who would prefer to attend the services but are unable to do so. Where the problem arises is with those who could be at the services but find other things to do. Jobs can interfere, but sometimes I can select a job that allows me to attend. Sometimes I can strike an agreement with my employer to have time off for worship and make up that time during another part of the week. The desire to be with the brethren should be so strong that I will make an effort to be with them as often as I can.
Therein lies the core of the problem. People are skipping out on opportunities to learn about God and to be with His people. It is an attitude problem. If the attitude were fixed, the lack of attendance would not be nearly so bad. It is here that I think most of us miss the solution. We focus on the physical things that we can see — not showing up at Bible study — and miss entirely the problem that needs to be fixed. There is a spiritual problem because love has gone cold. What is needed is someone to fan the flames. Someone to inspire people to be excited about being a Christian. I believe that was what your preacher was trying to do, but he forgot to consider everyone in his audience.
Hebrews 10 reminds us that worship is the time for Christians to gather and praise God, but it is also the time for brethren to encourage one another and build bonds of unity. That time is critical because we can't make it to heaven on our own. One of the strongest warning signs that a Christian is losing his faith is his lack of attending services when he could have been there.
