I’m supposed to mentor a young man, but he just won’t talk. How do I make this work?

Question:

I have a little friend through one of the mentoring programs that helps young men. The relationship has not been the most encouraging experience as I have tried to connect with him, but he seems to be shy and unwilling to spend time. I understand he has friends, but I can’t even get to talk with him or anything. I want to ask him why, but he seems like he doesn’t want to talk. It is upsetting because I want this to work. I am hoping that God can provide answers.

Answer:

I assume he asked for the mentoring and not that it was "forced" on him? The best way to work with a young person is to listen. Young men, especially, have a hard time putting thoughts into words, so you have to have a lot of patience while they think about what to say next. Rather than have awkward silence, the best thing to do is have an activity to do together. You might not have much to say, but the shared experiences will start forming a bond.

"So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" (James 1:19).

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