I’m not certain I’m worthy of the girl I want to marry
Question:
Hi,
I am a Hindu by religion. I am 21 years old and a college student. However, I believe in the Lord Jesus. I have been praying to him every day for the last seven or eight years. My family doesn't know about my faith in him.
My problem is that I have committed many sins. I lust very badly. I watch pornography and do stuff. Now I want to crave heaven but these things haunt me.
Also, there is a girl I want to be with. She isn't from my religion. My family and I don't have any problems with her, but her family would probably forbid her. I really want to be with her. I pray to God every day, but my sins make me feel like I am not worthy of her. These sins really haunt me.
Please guide me. I feel suicidal. I really want to pay for my sins. I want to stop all of it. I have tried, but it doesn't happen, so please guide me.
Answer:
I have the impression that you are trying to straddle both worlds. You try to live like a Hindu to please your parents, but you also want to be a Christian. The problem is that straddling two beliefs never works. "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other" (Matthew 6:24). I encourage you to become a true Christian, but you will have to be fully committed to that way of life, even if it puts you at odds with your family. You would be best off finding a faithful church in your area and fully learning about the Bible and Christ. For a start see: How to Become a Christian.
In regards to the sin in your life, it helps a great deal if you understand why a sin, such as pornography is wrong. I would like you to read: Lies Pornography Tells Men and A Look at Pornography. When you are done reading and still find yourself struggling, write to me again and we can talk about how to replace sinful habits with good habits.
In regards to the girl you are interested in, when you say she isn't of your religion, it leaves me confused since you are practicing two different religions. I warn people that marriages of mixed religions don't often work because the constant friction of different beliefs keeps the two people from becoming one as they are supposed to do (Genesis 2:24).
I know in your region of the world, it is traditional for the parents to arrange marriages, but it is not a firm requirement. It would be preferable that both parents approve of your choice in partner, but if you are both adults you can get married without your parents' blessings. However, I don't recommend this until you both thought long about whether your parents have good reasons to be concerned and whether you are willing to live with the consequence of going against your parents' wishes. Remember that each person is responsible for their own decisions, so it isn't just your choice but also the choice of the young woman as well.
