If Anyone Desires to Follow Me
by Luiz Felipe Lima De Albuquerque
Text: Psalms 73:21-28
"If anyone desires to follow me and loves his father, mother, wife, children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life more than me, he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26).
"Christ is not truly valued unless He is valued above all else" [Augustine].
It’s easy to say we love God when everything is going our way.
- Then someone close to you falls into sin, and you choose to remain silent to avoid conflict.
- Or someone you deeply love asks you to prioritize them above everything, even God.
- Or perhaps you try to take God’s place in your life by putting yourself first.
Christ made it clear in Luke 14:26 that there is a hierarchy of preferences - and even the people we love can become obstacles to following Him.
Let’s examine each of the people Jesus mentioned in that verse:
Your Parents
"'Honor your father and your mother,' this is the first commandment with a promise: 'so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth'” (Ephesians 6:2).
- To “honor” here means to “revere” and “value as a prize.”
- And indeed, our parents are worthy of honor - they provide for us, protect us, validate us emotionally, and guide us. We have no reason to disobey them… right?
- But what if your parents turn against God? What then?
- Obedience to parents is part of our submission to God, but what now?
- “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1).
- The phrase “in the Lord” conveys both a position and a purpose, indicating that our obedience to our parents is integral to our relationship with God. It is conditional on our obedience to Him.
- Also, notice the phrase “for this is right.” This aligns obedience with the moral standard God expects. The word "right" can also be translated as “holy.”
- We owe our parents obedience within the context of Christianity, but if we must choose, who deserves greater obedience: God or our parents?
- Ask yourself: if your father or mother abandoned God and wanted you to support them in that, would you side with them or with God? Jesus warned us about this possibility:
- “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.’” (Matthew 10:34-36).
- How should we treat our parents then? The Bible guides us:
- “Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers…” (I Timothy 5:1).
- The word “rebuke” here refers more to aggression than just correction. We must speak with wisdom, especially to elders and those in authority.
- However, to “exhort” (appeal and guide with honor) does not mean being silent.
- Other passages support this: Matthew 18:15-17; Galatians 6:1
- We do not start conflicts, but we do not remain silent either (II Thessalonians 3:14-15).
Your Spouse
“But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God” (I Corinthians 11:3).
- The Christian family has a clear structure: the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ is the head of the husband.
- For marriage to work, that structure must be respected.
- But what if your spouse opposes God? Would you go along with them? You made a vow to love and stay with this person for life - what now?
- We find an example in the Bible of a couple who were united no matter what happened: Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5:1-11).
- It didn’t end well for them.
- We do need to love our spouses, but many confuse “love” with accepting and supporting everything, no matter what.
- But love is not permissiveness (I Corinthians 5:11).
- Being an example of conduct speaks louder than words (I Peter 3:1-2).
Your Children
In the Old Testament, we see the case of Nadab and Abihu, sons of Aaron:
“Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, each took his censer, put fire in it and added incense; and they offered unauthorized fire before the Lord, contrary to His command. So fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed them, and they died before the Lord.” Then Moses said to Aaron, “This is what the Lord spoke of when He said: ‘Among those who approach me, I will be proved holy; in the sight of all the people I will be honored.’” Aaron remained silent" (Leviticus 10:1-3).
- Nadab and Abihu - sons of Aaron and nephews of Moses - offered incense the wrong way and died instantly.
- Unlike many permissive parents today, Aaron obeyed God and did not protest what the Lord had done.
- Even if our feelings and the world say otherwise, the Bible makes clear that discipline is an act of love, not cruelty (Proverbs 13:24; 27:5).
- A parent's guidance can shape a child’s destiny (Proverbs 22:6).
- Some parents may say, “He’ll be fine,” or “That’s just the way he is.” But does God agree with that? (Proverbs 14:12; Hebrews 12:11).
- Children are not born perfect - quite the opposite (Proverbs 22:15).
Your Brothers and Sisters
We have a clear example in the church of Corinth, known for its quarrels and divisions.
- The members had formed "teams," opposing each other and ignoring a serious problem: a man among them was having relations with his father’s wife - something even pagans didn’t do (I Corinthians 5:1).
- Many say, “We must not judge,” but that phrase is often misused. Paul instructs the church to mourn and expel the man from their fellowship (I Corinthians 5:2).
- The Gospel teaches us to love one another continually (Hebrews 13:1).
- But Christians do not participate in the sins of others (I Timothy 5:22).
Yourself
It’s interesting how “even his own life” appears at the end of the verse. To me, it sounds like, in the end, when we prioritize others over God, we're actually prioritizing ourselves.
- Today, many think denying yourself means giving something up. But biblically, it means living for God (I Peter 4:2).
- Doing God’s will is focusing on His desire above ours (II Timothy 2:4).
- It’s denying what I want, because what God wants is more important (Romans 6:19).
- It means not walking in our old ways (Ephesians 2:1-3).
To the world - and even to some Christians - the phrase “But that’s just how I am!” quickly comes to mind. Here in Brazil, we refer to this as “Gabriela syndrome,” which describes someone unwilling to change, even when they should.
Many today think being stubborn or having a “strong personality” is a strength.
- But for us, this is no surprise - Scripture already warned us about people like this (II Timothy 3:1-5).
So, how can we avoid being deceived by ourselves?
- The prophet Nathan shows us that one way is by focusing on actions and attitudes, rather than the person.
- When David heard that someone else had committed a terrible act, he was instantly angry (II Samuel 12:5-6).
- Then Nathan revealed that man was you, David (II Samuel 12:7).
- David - a man after God's own heart - admits instantly (II Samuel 12).
Saying “No” to someone you love is difficult. But unlike what the world teaches, the Christian’s “No” is not about revenge or pride. We say “No” not to hurt or punish, but in the hope that the one we love will realize their mistake and avoid a tragic end.
I hope we can all learn to say “no” to what is wrong, no matter who is doing it, and may we love Christ more than anyone, because it is better to obey God than to obey men.