I thought God was vengeful and intolerant
Question:
Hello,
I am 46 and have prayed to God most of my life. Things have happened to me that can be explained as God answering my prayers, or things working out on their own. My Mom informed me of God and Jesus as I grew up, but whenever I messed up in her eyes she would tell me, 'God will get you.' This almost made me stop praying to God altogether.
Anyway, I realized last year that I have never read the Bible. I started reading the King James Bible and started at the beginning. What a tough read. It seems that God is rather vengeful and not very tolerant. God wanted sacrifices, constant praise, and threatening people with death. I found myself calling God mean. I started reading other books about why I believe what I believe and finally understood what it meant when I heard, 'Jesus died for our sins'.
I have tried living better and invited Jesus into my heart and, I have felt nothing. Before reading the Bible after praying and talking to God, I would always seem to feel better. Now that I know how bad of a person I am it seems to me that God has thrown in the towel on me. I feel very alone. I am a sinner and know when I sin but, I quickly ask for forgiveness because I don't want to do or think hurtful things. I thought reading the Bible would help me get closer to God and it hasn't. Any idea why? By the way, I am up to Deuteronomy 21:10.
Thanks. I think what you are doing is a very good thing.
Answer:
Let me see, I happened to run into you when you were talking to your phone company about a mistake they made on your bill, would I walk away with an accurate view of the type of person you are? If I happened to see you on a picnic with your family, would I then know everything about you?
You drew conclusions about God by reading only a fraction of what was written and by reading that faction in an archaic form of English, but you thought you knew who God is. Even now that you realized you were wrong, you still don't understand God. "The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance" (II Peter 3:9).
First, get a better version, such as the NKJV or NASB'95. Second, while it isn't straight reading, go through the following, looking up all the verses in your Bible: The Lord Your God Is an Awesome God.
