Question:

Please, I am a baptized Christian who is a member of a denomination. I am in need of your advice. I am 26 years of age. I have engaged in sinful sex with a cousin on several occasions, for which I felt ashamed after the acts. I stopped going for the Lord's Supper and even during such days, I don't go to church. I always remember my sins, which drives me crazy. At times I can't sleep during the night.

I need your advice, please.

Answer:

It is proper to feel sorrow when you sin. But sorrow doesn't solve the problem. "I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, so that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death" (II Corinthians 7:9-10). When you realize you've sinned, the proper result is to change (repent). You change your behavior and you change the attitude that allowed you to sin. "For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter" (II Corinthians 7:11).

Instead of being driven to improve yourself, you wallow in your misery and nothing changes. Instead of seeing that God is right when He says sin is wrong, you abandon the worship of God. So, tell me, who wins?

Yes, you were wrong to have sex with your cousin. Therefore, return to God.

"This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us. My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world" (I John 1:5-2:2).

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